Have you heard that thing about how giving birth at Disney World means the kid gets a free lifetime pass?

It’s not true. Do not have your child at a theme park.

Or how if you buy that one kind of lollipop, and there’s a guy shooting an arrow into a star on the wrapper, you get a free one?

Also not true.

There’s all sorts of myths of corporate benevolence out there, and TikTok user @gabemunozmusic is here to set yet another one straight.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news,” he begins from his car, “but Trader Joe’s does not give out flowers on people’s birthdays.”

“I love that it’s your birthday, happy birthday, but we would have no flowers if we were giving out flowers for everyone’s birthday, okay? It’s Pisces season, there’s a lot of y’all, we would be empty.”

By the way, according to data from the Social Security Administration, there are not more birthdays in Pisces Season than in the rest of the year. In fact, it’s among the lowest periods of U.S birthrate. I’m sure this is the first time astrology has been an unreliable source of data.

“I know that there are rumors that we give out flowers, but it’s not true. So, once again, happy birthday, congratulations, you’re gonna need me to put the flowers back.”

@gabemunozmusic

Free flowers on ya bday is not a thing (mostly) but happy birthday #traderjoes #birthday #flowers #fyp #funny

♬ original sound – Gabriel Munoz

You gotta want it without wanting it, yanno?

I saw this one recently, it was hilarious.

Somebody’s salty.

Watch out for the streets!

Those streets are full of sweet, flowery lies.

Now that you’ve read that story, check out this one about a delivery driver who took a $400 grocery order back because she wasn’t given a tip.