Sometimes, being the oldest means being the one everyone turns to for help — or money.

One woman didn’t mind chipping in to help her hardworking little brother buy an engagement ring.

But when her sister’s unemployed boyfriend did the same, she wasn’t as eager to step in when he hadn’t earned it.

Read on for the full story!

AITAH for not buying my sisters engagement ring when I helped pay for my brothers.

I’m 30F, the oldest of 4 kids.

My younger brother, 22M, recently got engaged and had asked for my help in buying the ring he wanted to propose with.

He had already established a plan of how he planned to manage the cost.

He laid out his savings plan and justified the cost of the ring (he’s young and makes minimum wage).

The ring was only $3k — a lot of money for him, but not a lot compared to most rings in my opinion.

Ultimately, she decided to reward his responsible attitude.

He offered to pay me back, but I gave half with no strings attached because he seemed to have thought everything through.

But then someone else came knocking.

Anyway, fast forward a few months, and my oldest sister’s (26F) long-time boyfriend came to me asking if I’d also help him buy a ring.

I’d love to see my sister married — she talks about it constantly and wants to start a family.

But his approach was much different.

The difference is, her boyfriend hasn’t been able to hold a steady job in the whole 4 years I’ve known him.

His current position he’s only been in for 3 months.

The ring he wants to buy isn’t expensive — it’s $2k — but he has nothing saved for it.

So he wasn’t a fan of what she had to say next.

I told him no. I wouldn’t help buy the ring until he was more stable in his job.

He’s now upset at me because he thinks I don’t like him.

Now the rest of the family is taking sides.

My sister doesn’t know exactly why he’s upset, just that I made him feel “worthless,” so she is upset on his behalf.

So, AITAH for not agreeing to help buy the ring like I did my younger brother?

At the end of the day, it’s up to her what she chooses to do with her money.

What did Reddit make of all this?

Her sister’s boyfriend isn’t technically family — not yet, anyway.

This commenter thinks it was out of line for her sister’s boyfriend to ask in the first place.

These two requests were very different in many ways.

Having negative feelings about his self worth should motivate her sister’s boyfriend to do better for himself.

It’s not that she hated her sister’s boyfriend, it’s just that she couldn’t invest in a future that wasn’t financially grounded.

There’s nothing wrong with holding people to a higher standard.

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