Loyalty to friends often means stepping up, even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient.

When one man decided to opt out of the wedding party for one of his friends of 15+ years, he didn’t realize how deeply this decision would rock their friendship.

Read on for the full story.

AITA for declining to be a groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings

One of my (26 M) best friends is getting married. I’ve known this friend for 15+ years.

Growing up, me and five other guys were super close. We all grew up in the same neighborhood and played the same sport in high school.

So his friend approached these guys with the honor of being his groomsmen.

The friend in question asked the six of us to be groomsmen in his wedding. The five other guys said yes.

But he decided to make a different choice.

I said no. I don’t really have a concrete reason for saying no.

I just really don’t need the hassle and I’m rather introverted. I’d rather use my PTO to vacation somewhere quiet rather than have to go to all the extra events associated with the wedding.

To be clear, I obviously planned on attending the wedding and after-party themselves.

Naturally, his friend was quite upset about his rejection.

Apparently, my declining to join the wedding party caused bigger issues than I could’ve imagined. The wife-to-be asked six bridesmaids and apparently is irritated that there won’t be the same number of groomsmen.

And my friend has taken it as a personal slight. I’ve gotten texts and calls from a few of my friends and the maid of honor asking me to reconsider.

So when he doubled down, it only made things worse.

The friend whose wedding it is got so angry after I declined a second time that he said, “I shouldn’t bother coming at all.”

I really don’t think this is as big of a deal as people are making it out to be. But my friend and his fiancée are acting like I objected to the marriage itself.

AITA?

To his friend, it felt like he was disregarding the importance of loyalty and support.

What did Reddit have to say?

This commenter laments about how selfish people have gotten in general.

This commenter shows how foolish it sounds when repeated back.

If he feels like a bad friend, that’s probably because he is.

This is sort of a friendship-ending event.

His decision wasn’t just selfish, it was a complete and utter betrayal of years of friendship.

Sometimes putting yourself first comes at the cost of losing others.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a rude customer who got exactly what they wanted in their pizza.