Being the oldest sibling, especially in a big family, can make you a de facto parent and caretaker.

But at what point do you draw the line in that?

This couple is grappling with exactly that question.

Check it out.

AITA for telling my husband his family is draining us?

I (28F) recently married my husband (30M) after nearly 6 years together.

We co-run a design consulting business, which I helped build from scratch—I handled client comms, admin, and systems so he could focus on creative work.

Things picked up financially a couple years ago, and I was proud of us both.

Here’s a pretty jaw-dropping list:

As soon as the money started flowing, he began heavily supporting his family.

They live in India, and he’s the oldest of 12 siblings, several still under 10.

So far he’s:

• Bought them a car

• Paid off their debts

• Funded his parents’ full wedding (rings, venue, photographer)

• Bought them land to build a home

• Sends them $1,200/month

Dang, can I be this guy’s brother?

Now his mom has started reaching out to me too—asking me to remind him she needs money for nursery fees because she spent everything prepping the land.

She also mentioned needing $5,500 more to buy another piece of land to build a rental property for income.

This is while they’re already planning a huge house that their current budget likely won’t cover—and again, there’s an unspoken expectation that my husband will step in to fund the rest.

And another list, but far more humble:

Meanwhile:

• We rent

• We don’t have kids

• We’re trying to stabilize our income

• He’s asked me to contribute more toward our own bills

What are they gonna do?

I’ve told him before that his early financial gestures set the bar really high, and now the expectations just keep growing.

I’m not against helping—but it feels like we’re always building someone else’s future while our own life keeps getting delayed.

AITA for wanting him to set limits, at least until we’ve secured something for ourselves?

Let’s look at the comments:

Some were pretty blunt:

When you get right down to it…

Like, this math is not mathing.

Something’s GOT to give.

And it shouldn’t be any more of her money.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.