This husband thought his wife’s career switch was a no-brainer—higher salary, summers off, and the same schedule as him and the kids.

But when she turned down the job, their home life got even more tense than it already was. Now he’s wondering if he’s wrong for feeling resentful.

Read on for the story.

AITA. Wife Turned down dream job with a better schedule and higher salary

Background information. I am (30m) teacher (Currently in Graduate school to pursue being a principal), my wife (29f) a physical therapist. We have Two kids aged 3.5 and 2, Both were adopted.

Wife currently works at a non profit as a PT. Last August she turned down a PT job at a local school district that would have paid her 30% more than she currently brings home, currently brings home 65k could’ve made 85k.

Her current job gives two weeks vacation and covers part of her insurance premium. They do not offer any retirement matching. She currently works 40 hrs a week, Monday-Friday, on Fridays she works as a pediatric PT as a 1099 employee and claims to enjoy it.

The school job would’ve covered her entire health insurance premium monthly and also offered a pension plan. The school jobs schedule would have been 8:30am-3pm Monday-Thursday. With holidays breaks and summers off just like a teachers schedule. She would have had all of the same breaks that I do as a teacher, I currently work at this same district that the job was at.

Doesn’t sound like she made the right move…

Before everyone attacks me, I am very familiar with how this job is. Her best friend wound up taking the position after she declined. I see her friend at my building sometimes rolling in close to 9 AM to start the day.

I do realize that most of the patients she would see are on an IEP. But considering she sees patients now that are also difficult I am just super puzzled on the decision.

One last thing, I have also gotten a weird feeling about her infatuation with her boss at her current job.

He is married and has kids, seems like a nice guy. Ive never thought he seemed flirty towards her when Ive been around, but she does seem to hold him in such high esteem almost in a strange way. He is about 10-12 years older than both of us.

Ohhhh dear.

Long story short, she turned down that job because she claimed she wouldn’t enjoy that type of environment for doing PT work.

Here’s the part I really struggle with: My wife is constantly stressed about working and juggling two kids, we are getting close to being financially able for her to work part time. However, she is constantly negative and very critical of me and others.

We have to walk on eggshells around her.

Any time we have an argument about chores or other household duties, she immediately attacks me with “you have more time off so you should do them all.”

Is that how it works?

I agree, I do have more time off. I enjoy my schedule that allows me to be with my family more. I was previously in sales working weekends sometimes until 10pm often before having kids.

I probably do about 95% of the dishes and cleaning and 70% of the laundry. I also do our finances and grocery store runs. I pick up the kids from daycare and drop them off frequently.

Any time we get into an argument I really have to bite my tongue about her complaining about not having any free time.

When she turned down that job, in my mind she forfeited the right to complain about not having free time. AITA?

Sometimes, you can’t force someone to take an opportunity—but living with the fallout might mean biting your tongue a lot more than you’d like.

Most people on Reddit don’t think anyone is really an AH here.

This person thinks his wife probably has good reasons for turning down the job.

This person says OP isn’t allowed to dictate what is a “dream job” for someone else.

And this person is torn.

More money, more time, but somehow…more stress.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.