October 9, 2025 at 4:15 am

Birthday Girl Is Planning Her Family Dinner To Celebrate, But Her Mom Wants Her To Choose A Cheap Restaurant Despite All Of Her Previous Generosity

by Ashley Ashbee

Woman wearing a party hand surrounded by party decorations

Pexels/Reddit

Being generous is lovely, as long as you receive generosity in return.

What do you if that doesn’t happen? See why this woman is feeling let down.

AITA: For wanting to cancel my birthday dinner?

I’m a foodie and love trying to new restaurants in the city.

I always invite my family (senior mom on a fixed income and i have 2 siblings in their late 30s with full-time jobs, one of my siblings is married.)

I never had an issue for paying for their meal.

She is very generous.

I love brunch and have always taken them out during the holidays for brunch at the fancy hotels.

I always pay, and have never asked for them to pay for themselves cause they are joining my on something I love to do.

My birthday is coming up and my family has been asking me where I wanted to go. I suggested a restaurant that would be mid-range pricewise.

When I told my mom she asked me who was paying for the meal. I told her I wasn’t sure, but if they needed me to pay I would.

Her answer and other actions really rub her the wrong way.

She told me to figure out who’s paying and decide on a restaurant based on that.

I feel like it’s my birthday and seeming how I pay ALL the other times we go out someone else would be ok paying the bill? Or we could split if it’s an issue?

What got me, is that one of my siblings birthday is a week after mine.

My mom keeps going on about how shes going to treat them for breakfast that day and never even asked who’s paying for the family dinner for them.

This whole situation has made me just want to cancel my birthday dinner with the family. AITA?

Here is what folks are saying.

I’d probably cancel, too.

Screenshot 2025 09 15 at 11.05.10 PM Birthday Girl Is Planning Her Family Dinner To Celebrate, But Her Mom Wants Her To Choose A Cheap Restaurant Despite All Of Her Previous Generosity

Feeling used is the worst. How sad.

Screenshot 2025 09 15 at 11.05.35 PM Birthday Girl Is Planning Her Family Dinner To Celebrate, But Her Mom Wants Her To Choose A Cheap Restaurant Despite All Of Her Previous Generosity

Good point. It’s still sad, though.

Screenshot 2025 09 15 at 11.06.00 PM Birthday Girl Is Planning Her Family Dinner To Celebrate, But Her Mom Wants Her To Choose A Cheap Restaurant Despite All Of Her Previous Generosity

That sounds uncomfortable.

Screenshot 2025 09 15 at 11.06.32 PM Birthday Girl Is Planning Her Family Dinner To Celebrate, But Her Mom Wants Her To Choose A Cheap Restaurant Despite All Of Her Previous Generosity

Wow harsh.

Screenshot 2025 09 15 at 11.08.38 PM Birthday Girl Is Planning Her Family Dinner To Celebrate, But Her Mom Wants Her To Choose A Cheap Restaurant Despite All Of Her Previous Generosity

I have no problem dining out alone. Maybe she’ll like it!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.

Ashley Ashbee | Contributing Writer, Workplace & Culture

Ashley Ashbee is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter specializing in workplace dynamics, employee advocacy, and professional culture. Drawing on her real-world experience as a software consultant, she brings a unique, insider perspective to navigating office conflicts, toxic management, and trending professional dilemmas.

Holding a degree in Professional Writing from York University, Ashley combines her formal editorial training with her corporate background to deliver highly engaging, empathetic narratives. She excels at breaking down complex workplace dramas and translating them into stories that truly empower and validate modern workers.

Based in St. Catharines, Ontario, Ashley balances her time between the tech and publishing worlds with her love for the outdoors. When she isn’t consulting or writing, she can usually be found exploring local walking trails or experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen.

Connect with Ashley on LinkedIn and Twitter/X.