Every culture has different norms and expectations when it comes to life events like growing up, becoming an adult, and leaving the family home.

And as times change, so do those cultural norms.

So when the woman in this story expressed her desires about their marriage to her boyfriend, she expected that they would be able to have a convivial conversation about them, at least.

Unfortunately for her, her boyfriend was not the person she thought he was.

Read on to find out how her requests led to her seeing an entirely different side to the man she loved.

AITA for telling my boyfriend I want to live separately from his parents after marriage?

I am a 23-year-old woman, and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (28, male) for almost three years.

We’re both from India. He’s from North India and I’m from the South.

He’s sweet, caring and has been a big source of support for me through some difficult times.

And recently, we’ve been talking about marriage.

Read on to find out how their happy relationship took a turn.

Recently, I told him something that’s very important to me: after we get married, I want to live in our own house, not with his parents.

I don’t mean abandoning them — I even said it could be a house right next to theirs, or that we could visit daily and take care of them financially.

But I want our own home to start our marriage.

But this really touched a nerve for her boyfriend.

He said living separately would be “abandoning” his parents, and he refused all alternatives I suggested.

I’ve seen what can happen to daughters-in-law in joint families — the constant supervision, veiled criticisms, snide remarks — and even though his family might be lovely, I don’t want to take that risk.

Especially when I would be leaving everything and everyone I know behind to be with him.

He got upset and eventually told me to “get lost.”

Yikes! Let’s see how she is feeling about the situation.

I’m devastated. I still love him, but I’m not willing to compromise on this.

He said he doesn’t feel any kind of affection towards me anymore.

Now, I feel like the villain for asking him to live away from his parents, but I also know I can’t sacrifice my future and autonomy.

So, was I wrong for telling my boyfriend I want us to live separately from his parents after marriage, even though he says it’s abandoning them?

AITA?

Sure, cultural norms are a thing for a reason, and it’s always important to respect one another’s wishes and expectations when it comes to any step in a relationship.

But that is just the thing: both partner’s wishes need to be respected, and when it’s not possible, the couple need to work together to come to a compromise.

This is what he was totally unwilling to do, even though she offered compromise after compromise to try to keep him happy.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person thought that, as sad as she might be, it was time to say goodbye.

And others applauded her for sticking up for herself.

Meanwhile, this person was horrified by how he spoke to her.

The fact that he was unwilling to even have a calm conversation about a topic on which they didn’t agree doesn’t look good for him or their relationship.

She shouldn’t have to back down, just because she’s the woman; nor should she be expected to agree to a living situation with which she is uncomfortable.

It’s sad to cut the ties of a relationship that you thought would go the distance, but if you’re not going to be respected, sometimes it has to be that way.

She deserves better.

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