Some people are neat freaks, while others are slobs.

This woman wants her house to be her safe and tidy space, but her sloppy sister wants to stay with her for four weeks. She immediately said no, and an argument ensued.

Read below for the full story.

AITA for not allowing my sister to visit my apartment?

I (27F) live in an apartment with my roommate. I’ve been here for over a year and a half and have been super excited to be on my own. It’s been the most relaxed I’ve felt in a long time.

Before moving here, I lived with my sister (25F) growing up and throughout college. Living with her, especially during college, was a disaster. She is extremely messy and somewhat nasty at times.

She doesn’t respect her space or anyone else’s. We lived together in a 3-bedroom apartment with her son at one point during college, and she would never keep the space clean.

I would try to retaliate by not cleaning up after her, but she would just live in the mess rather than cleaning up. That has traumatized me for life.

After leaving college she moved to another city for work and the only times I’d visit was to babysit her son. I’d never willingly go there to visit because I’d be uncomfortable the entire time in her apartment.

There was not one place in there that was clean and clear. And she would never clean up knowing I was coming to visit. I’d sleep in my nephew’s room with him and even in there was messy and grimy, like the rest of the house.

This woman said no to her sister staying over.

So now, she wants to visit my city for 4 weeks for the upcoming holidays. When she told me this, I asked her where she was staying (I live near my dad).

She immediately took offense when I asked because she knows she’s messy, but expects people to allow her into their space anyway. She then says that her son will be staying with their dad, who also lives in my city.

My response to her was that her son is not the issue, she is. I never explicitly said I don’t want her to come to my apartment, but she took the hint.

Now she’s upset, saying she’d never say that to me when I visited her, and that if I have rules, I should just state them and she’d respect them, but she should still be able to visit.

I told her I’ve known her for 25 years, and she’s never respected anyone’s home, whether it was our family home, our apartment, or even when visiting others.

AITA for not allowing her to visit me? Maybe if it was a shorter period of time, but she’d absolutely ruin my safe haven in 4 weeks. I’ve worked so hard to be able to have this, and I know that if she came and messed up my space, it would strain our relationship.

Setting boundaries is healthy; living in a mess is not.

Other people are chiming in.

Some wise words from this user.

Prioritize your sanity, says this person.

Some valid points.

Good question.

This reader shares another perspective.

Put your sanity first, your messy sister’s feelings second.

Thought that was satisfying? Check out what this employee did when their manager refused to pay for their time while they were traveling for business.