We all know the harmful impacts bullying can have on a child, but what’s the psychological impact on the bully themselves?’

One 16-year-old is racked with guilt over how she treated a classmate back in third grade.

She begins to grapple with whether she should reach out to express her remorse, or if it would be better to just leave it alone.

Read on for the full dilemma.

WIBTA if I reached out to the girl I bullied as a child to apologise?

I (16f) was a bully when I was in 3rd grade.

I gave this girl an embarrassing dare, and then told her if she didn’t give me brownies every day I would tell people what she did.

Years later, this teen can’t believe she could act this way.

I revealed her crush, idek. I was just plain awful.

She moved in 4th grade. I don’t know how I could be so evil.

I don’t know how, but I didn’t even realize I was a bully.

This sounds awful, but I thought of it as a trade-off… “I keep your secret, you give me brownies… it’s even.”

I know I can never forgive myself, and I shouldn’t.

Now she wonders how she could possibly make this right, even after all this time.

I think about reaching out to her on social media all the time, but I’m worried that my apology will be out of selfish intent.

Maybe it would be to relieve my conscience, and bringing back those bad times for her would only negatively impact her.

I really don’t want to do or say anything that could cause her any harm.

Would I be an AH to reach out and apologize?

Timing and intention matter just as much as her remorse.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter shares the right way to make a heartfelt apology.

It can be quite healing to receive an apology, even decades later.

Just keeping it simple is often the best way to go.

The most important part is that it has to be sincere.

Ultimately, this teen will have to balance her desire to apologize with the possibility of stirring up any unwanted memories the other girl may not want to revisit.

This story just proves that even the most heartfelt intentions can get complicated fast.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.