When you have a friend who is making questionable decisions in her relationship, it can be difficult to know what to say to them.

You want to discuss it and give them advice, but you also don’t want them to cut you off or cause your friendship to suffer.

That is what the friend in this story is dealing with, and she isn’t sure what to do since her friend’s new boyfriend has a lot of red flags.

WIBTAH if I (f22) told my friend (f22) that I get weird vibes from her new bf (m20)?

I’ve been friends with this girl for a handful of years.

We used to talk boys all the time and be super close, she’d come to me anytime anything happened with a guy and vice versa.

She started being friends with this guy who was in a long-term relationship with his (now) ex.

This is a very common occurrence.

I will admit that I felt a little bit left out because she started spending more time with him and less with me, and so I said to her one time that I found their relationship a little weird.

She was spending a LOT of time alone with him and it didn’t sit right with me that he had a girlfriend and spent as much time as he did with her.

That is definitely unusual.

And it wasn’t just friends hanging out. They went to Disneyland together and stayed in a hotel together, he’d pick her up and drive her everywhere, and the one that really weirded me out was on his 2-year anniversary with his gf, he went to go see my friend, with his girlfriend as the third wheel.

I know because he showed up with his gf, while me and my friend were hanging out, and the gf just sat there quietly without saying a word for hours. Mind you, on their anniversary.

People often don’t want to be told about issues in their relationship.

She ended up being really offended by what I told her and didn’t talk to me for a while. I felt really bad and apologized relentlessly but she never really got over it and there’s been distance between us since.

I went from being her best friend to just someone she sees every now and then.

No surprise here.

Fast forward, dude and his gf broke up and about 3 months later he’s dating my friend. She told me and seemed really happy so I ignored how messy it seemed and tried to be happy for her.

We’ve all been spending a lot of time together as a group lately, and a lot of things I’ve heard him say in passing are very concerning.

I agree, these are unexpected comments.

They’ve now been dating for about 3 weeks, and he’s made ~4 comments about wanting children in just the last week. And COUNTLESS remarks about her being his future wife.

This all feels very lovebomby to me. And if he really does feel this strongly about her in the 3 weeks they’ve been dating, then I think it is clear he did some emotional cheating on his ex-girlfriend.

This is going to be a difficult conversation to have.

I want to talk to her about it and ask how she feels and maybe just warn her about how icky this feels, but I just feel like I know exactly how she’ll react and it won’t end up well, it also might just be none of my business but I do really care for her.

I just don’t want to say ANOTHER thing that will cause us to grow distant.

So, WIBTAH if I told her how I felt about her boyfriend?

Having the conversation is likely a good thing, but she really needs to be very careful about how she phrases things and what she says to avoid causing more conflict.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

This commenter is exactly right.

Be there when things go south.

This guy is a chronic cheater.

Yup, the friends reaction is on her.

Exposing red flags is always difficult.

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