It’s important to surround yourself with people who respect you. But what would you do if your lifestyle offended a new addition to the group?

In this case, a woman who does kickboxing was simply being honest about her eating habits when asked, but her friend’s girlfriend was triggered by that.

Would you apologize and stop talking about it? Or stand your ground?

Let’s see what she did.

AITA for counting my calories because I do a martial art?

I (27F) have been training in Muay Thai kickboxing for close to 7 years now.

I started training for amateur fights a couple years ago. Most of the time, I train in moderation and don’t restrict what I eat in any way.

But for the 2 months leading up to a fight, I get very strict about my nutrition and fitness.

I cut out alcohol and caffeine, and just generally stick to nutrient dense foods.

I’m okay with doing this because I don’t plan to do that many fights in my lifetime–I never plan to go pro, and I just wanted to do a few amateur fights to challenge myself.

The problem recently has been that a newer woman in my friend group, A, started commenting on my eating habits.

‘A’ is bothered by what she’s sharing.

She’s dating someone in the friend group and has only started hanging out with us the last month or so.

I have a fight coming up in a couple weeks, so this last month has been “strict mode.”

The new girl A quickly noticed my food/drink choices and started calling me out for it, criticizing me for promoting “diet vulture culture.”

I explained to A about my upcoming fight the first time she said something, but she didn’t let it go.

It’s starting to become a power struggle.

Every time we’ve all hung out as a group in the last month, A has pointed out what I’m eating or not eating with comments like:

“What, you really can’t have ONE donut? Wow, diet culture really brainwashed you,” or:

“Girl, you’re ordering a salad at an Italian restaurant? You should talk to a therapist.”

At first I tried to patiently explain my reasons for being so strict–it’s just for 8 weeks, it’s for my athletic performance, etc.–but eventually I gave up and chose to just ignore her comments.

But then she found the reason why it bothered ‘A’ so much.

Last weekend, we had a get-together and I turned down a slice of pie someone baked, saying:

“Smells delicious but I can’t have the extra calories right now. Save me a piece for after the fight!”

A overheard this and broke down crying.

She left the room and her boyfriend followed.

Later that night her boyfriend pulled me aside and told me that I’d really triggered A with my talk of calorie counting, because she has a history with EDs.

She doesn’t think she is to blame for anything, though.

I told him I was sorry to hear that, but I’ve also always made it clear that my choices are just about the sport I do.

I’ve never used any language surrounding body image or size, and I’ve never even said that I’m trying to lose weight–when A brought it up, I just said I was trying to maintain at my weight class.

I told him gently but firmly that if this alone was enough to trigger his girlfriend, that’s between her and her doctors/therapist to work through.

They also took this personally.

The boyfriend said I was a jerk for being so insensitive, and he and A left the party shortly after that.

Most of my friends don’t think I did anything wrong, but a couple of them think I could’ve avoided mentioning the idea of “calorie counting” altogether.

A and her boyfriend haven’t shown up to the last couple group hangouts.

AITA?

Let’s see what Reddit had to say about this.

This commenter shares their POV.

Something to consider.

Exactly.

Another reader chimes in.

Yup.

‘A’ could’ve shown concern without trying to shame or control her.

Maybe they’re not ready for a friendship right now.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.