When you’ve been friends with someone for a long time, going to college far apart can feel like a huge life change.

And more concerningly, it can truly make or break a friendship.

That’s not because you don’t want to be friends any more, it’s just that the logistics of seeing and communicating consistently with one another might drop in your priorities, until you’re casual friends or acquaintances at best.

And that’s not a problem – it’s just a part of growing up.

But for the guy in this story, he is still keen to see his friend when she’s in town.

Only, he didn’t know that others would be in tow.

Read on to find out what happened here.

WIBTA for asking my friend to let me know if her boyfriend is going to be there before inviting me over?

I am eighteen and male, and I have a friend (eighteen, female) who is far from home for college and I have not seen her in months.

She was home last weekend and invited me over yesterday to hang out at her house.

It was after work and I was super tired but was still in the mood to hang out because I haven’t seen her in months.

When I got there, her boyfriend was over.

Let’s see how he reacted to seeing his friend’s boyfriend.

I was kind of caught off guard and may have been a bit unintentionally rude when I said, “oh, you’re here? I didn’t know (your boyfriend) would be here.”

They may have taken offense to that, but I tried to play it off as a joke.

I don’t necessarily mind hanging out with him, but he’s not my favorite person in the world.

I’ve known him since elementary school (since before I knew my friend) and we were friends in middle school but grew apart.

Read on to find out why they grew apart.

I thought he was super cool when I was in middle school but now that I’ve matured I’ve grown to not love him that much because he can be very condescending, mansplains everything and acts like he’s better than everyone else.

He also has a huge ego and always has to be right about everything.

My friend did not tell me he would be there, and I would’ve reconsidered coming over if I’d have known.

I thought my friend just wanted to see me and hang out one on one.

And he was very keen to clarify that he didn’t have ulterior motives for wanting to see her alone.

I should also mention I’m gay so this is not a jealousy thing and no romantic feelings are involved.

Would it be wrong if I asked my friend to let me know if any other people are going to be over before inviting me?

WIBTA?

Look, there’s no issue with wanting clarity – after all, if you’re tired after work, it’s helpful to be prepared if you’re going to be walking into more of a social situation than you expected.

But if his friend is only home for the weekend, it’s natural that she would want to spend her time with her boyfriend as well as her friend, and she hasn’t done anything wrong by doing so.

For him to make the comments he did when he saw her boyfriend though? It’s understandable that they didn’t sit well with anyone.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person thought he would be doing nothing wrong by asking.

However, others thought that is was rough territory.

Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged him to make it his habit to ask beforehand.

It’s understandable that he was a little upset when he thought he was going to get some one-on-one time with his friend, who he clearly misses.

But sometimes couples are non-negotiable, especially when they don’t get to spend much time together anyway, so there’s a chance that if he wants to see his friend, he’ll have to get used to that.

Regardless though, there’s no harm in asking.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.