April 12, 2026 at 6:55 pm

Bride-To-Be Wanted To Keep Her Destructive, Disabled Adult Cousin From Her Wedding, But She Doesn’t Want To Seem Rude To His Family

by Liberty Canlas

Couple and guests dancing at a wedding

Pexels/Reddit

Every bride deserves a peaceful wedding without disruptions.

This bride-to-be is considering uninviting her cousin’s family because his cousin has a disability that make him disruptive. But she doesn’t want to seem mean, so she’s unsure what to do.

Read the full story below and weigh in.

WIBTA If I didn’t invite my cousin to my wedding because of his disability?

My fiancée (30M) and I (29F) are getting married next May. We are trying to organise our guest list because we have found a venue we really love that has a guest limit of 120 people.

This is a bit difficult, given we both have big families; however, we really like the idea of a smaller, more intimate wedding.

For this reason, we’ve had to cut down our guest list quite a bit and have decided, as a result, not to invite any young children (under 16), except for our immediate family and our flower girl.

Our dilemma is this: I have cousins with whom we are very close and whom I would really want at the wedding; however, they have a son (I will call him Lucas) who has Down Syndrome and autism.

Because of this, Lucas can become very overstimulated around large groups of people and may scream loudly as a result. He is also quite destructive and may do things like pull at tablecloths while everything is still on the table or throw drinking glasses.

The venue also requires a bond to be paid if anything is damaged or if any extreme messes are made, so I am quite worried about this. Lucas is also 20 years old, despite having the mental age of a two-year-old.

This bride does not know what to do about her cousin and his family.

I don’t know if his parents would even bring him to the wedding, as he requires constant supervision.

However, I don’t know how I could not invite him without coming across as rude or mean, given that they have one other son who lives with them, whom I would invite (he is also over 20 years old).

It’s not that we don’t want Lucas there, I just really don’t want anything to detract from key parts of my and my fiancée’s day, such as screaming or things being broken.

I also can’t tell Lucas’s mother that I’m worried about him being destructive at our wedding, as I feel that WOULD make me a jerk; however, I also don’t feel comfortable asking whether she is planning to bring him. I really don’t know what to do.

Would I be the jerk if I invited my cousin and the rest of her family and left Lucas’s name off the invitation? What could I do in this situation?

Tough situation. But go with what your heart tells you.

Other people in the comments are sharing their two cents.

Here’s a sensible suggestion.

Screenshot 2026 03 31 at 10.54.15 PM Bride To Be Wanted To Keep Her Destructive, Disabled Adult Cousin From Her Wedding, But She Doesnt Want To Seem Rude To His Family

Another one chimes in.

Screenshot 2026 03 31 at 10.54.46 PM Bride To Be Wanted To Keep Her Destructive, Disabled Adult Cousin From Her Wedding, But She Doesnt Want To Seem Rude To His Family

A valid opinion from this user.

Screenshot 2026 03 31 at 10.55.45 PM Bride To Be Wanted To Keep Her Destructive, Disabled Adult Cousin From Her Wedding, But She Doesnt Want To Seem Rude To His Family

This person shares a similar situation.

Screenshot 2026 03 31 at 10.56.25 PM Bride To Be Wanted To Keep Her Destructive, Disabled Adult Cousin From Her Wedding, But She Doesnt Want To Seem Rude To His Family

And some helpful insight from this parent.

Screenshot 2026 03 31 at 10.57.36 PM Bride To Be Wanted To Keep Her Destructive, Disabled Adult Cousin From Her Wedding, But She Doesnt Want To Seem Rude To His Family

Honest communication would not hurt in this case.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.