Sometimes even the most well-meaning gestures can get totally misinterpreted.

What would you do if your kind text message totally backfired? One woman sought validation about her recent awkward exchange on Reddit. Here’s what went down.

AITA for reaching to out to my boyfriend’s friend

So I (26F) have been dating my boyfriend (25M) for four years.

He has a group of 6 pretty much life long friends dating back to middle school.

I like these guys.

That’s a rarity in a relationship.

They still all live pretty close to one another and see each other pretty much every weekend.

I’m the longest tenured girlfriend so I’ll attend some of the gatherings to say a quick hello or if it’s the guys and some of the other partners I’ll stay the whole time.

Seems like a solid dynamic.

Over the last 6 months or so, I’ve noticed a remarkable change in one of his friends (26M).

This guy used to be joyful, funny, life of the party type and never missed a social occasion.

In the last 6 to 8 months, we’ve seen him maybe 3 times and when we do see him, he’s not really engaged and doesn’t look happy to be there.

That’s a tough realization to have.

He also uses self deprecating humor that cuts like a sword and drinks substantially more than he used too.

I asked my boyfriend about this and got a mixture of an explanation of “he’s stressed about work”, “that’s how he always is” “he’s sad about a family member passing” (a year ago).

I asked if anyones talked to him and he said “He hasn’t reached out” and “He knows we are here”.

Feels like the boyfriend is being a little dismissive.

I reached out to my boyfriend’s friend and just said that he’s loved and supported, that everyone is here if he needs anything and that we miss him.

He sent a screenshot of that text to the guys GC and my bf said I had no right to text HIS friend and that it was really none of my business.

I argued that a friend is not a possession and that I had a right to do what I thought was right. AITA?

Sounds like these guys need to get over themselves a little. Let’s see how the Reddit community weighed in on this one.

Some immediate clarification was needed and offered.

Others took a statistical approach.

But one person offered another perspective.

Another boiled it down plain and simply.

And others held everyone equally responsible.

Her good intentions got lost in translation.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.