Some people treat relationships like a bank account. They never make deposits, but they still expect to make withdrawals.

This woman barely knew her father growing up. While he built a life overseas, she spent her childhood dealing with instability and an abusive mother.

The person who actually showed up for her was her grandmother, who helped her get through some of the hardest parts of her life. Her father, on the other hand, rarely seemed interested in being there. Whenever she needed help, he always seemed to have a reason he couldn’t provide it.

Eventually, she stopped expecting anything from him and told him to stay out of her life.

Then he traveled to the United States for his mother’s funeral and made an unexpected request. He needed $2,000.

Let’s check out what happened when he asked her husband for the money.

AITA for refusing to help my father financially when he came to the US for his mother’s funeral and asked my husband for $2,000?

I only met my father in 7th grade. He is a musician in Europe and was never present. I grew up with a drug addicted abusive mother. We were homeless multiple times and stayed in shelters. Often no food.

The painful irony is that the funeral that brought him here was for his mother, who actually raised me. She drove me to college and helped pay daycare for my daughter so I could finish school as a single mom. She did everything he refused to do.

He promised to pay my tuition and strung me along for months until I got a scholarship.

Her father has always been terrible to her.

He never attended my college graduation where I graduated magna cum laude even though I sent him the link during COVID. When I needed $300 to keep my belongings from being sold, he said he was on tour. When I lost my job and my car got repossessed, he left me on read twice.

He once confirmed publicly he only claims one daughter and it is not me. I told him to stay away from my life and he agreed.

The man who actually showed up was my now husband.

Then, he found out that her husband has money.

Before we married, he helped me financially as a single mom. He gave me money toward a new car after the repo, and stepped up for my daughter.

My father initially disliked my now husband assuming he wanted a Green Card, not knowing my now husband already had one.

His opinion only changed when he found out my now husband played semi pro soccer and his brother plays for Manchester United. He has never met my children.

She keeps thinking about quotes from the Bible.

Now he approached my husband privately asking for $2,000 for a flight home and his mortgage. My husband redirected him to me. I said no.

People say honor thy father. But 1 Timothy 5:8 says a man who does not provide for his family has denied the faith. Galatians 6:7 says whatever a man sows he will reap. Proverbs 21:13 says whoever ignores the cry of the poor will also cry out and not be answered. Matthew 10:16 says be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.

Honor is not the same as obligation.

AITA?

Eek! It’s easy to see why she feels that way. That man sounds terrible.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a sister who canceled a family dinner after realizing she’d been the only one putting in effort for years.

Let’s check out how the folks over at Reddit feel about her father.

This person thinks he should ask his only daughter.

It sure does.

And that’s the harsh reality of it.

This reader offers another quote from the Bible.

The truth of the matter is that people have to live with the relationships they built.

This father had years to be present and involved, yet he chose not to be.

You can’t disappear when someone needs you and expect them to show up when you need something.

And after everything that happened, it’s hard to blame this woman for feeling like that money would be better spent on the family that actually stood by her.