Moving into a new house is a lot of work, so it is great when the whole family can pitch in and help. Of course, this can also mean that tempers start getting the best of people, which can lead to all sorts of family drama.

What would you do if you had been moving furniture all day, which caused your hand to hurt, when your father asked you to come to the new house to help with something?

That is what happened to the daughter in this story, so she asked his dad what he needed help with, so she could determine if she would be able to help with her sore hand. For some reason, Dad freaked out over this simple question, causing drama for the rest of the day.

Read through the details and see what you think about this very difficult family situation.

AITA for asking my dad what he needed help with before coming over, because my hand hurts?

My family recently bought a new house, and today I (18F) spent 4 to 5 hours straight helping move heavy items to the new house with my mom (43F).

Heavy physical activity can really cause serious problems.

I’m home from college for the summer. Because of all the heavy lifting, my hand—which is already prone to chronic pain—is hurting worse than usual right now.

Shortly after finishing, my dad (49M). was on his way back from being at my brother’s (12M) game and called me and asked me to still wait there to help him fix something at the new house.

It is smart to know what you are getting into.

Because my hand was hurting, I asked him exactly what it was he needed help with. I wanted to see if it was a task I could actually manage without injuring my hand further. I never once said or implied that I wouldn’t help him.

Instead of just telling me the task, my dad got incredibly defensive. He refused to tell me what the job was and accused me of “acting like I’m special” just for wanting to know.

If he wanted to get out of the work, he would have just told him no.

In his mind, asking for details automatically meant I was trying to get out of doing the work.

When I told him about my hand, he said that meant I wasn’t doing my hand physical therapy exercises properly, even though I’ve literally done it in front of him before. I felt this was an unnecessary and false comment.

Why is it such a secret?

He’d already asked me to help him yesterday, but I said I couldn’t because I had committed to finishing something a group project already by the end of that day.

He did the same thing when I tried to ask him for details; he wouldn’t tell me and asked me why I wanted to know what it was.

What is he even talking about?

After that blow-up, he completely shut down, ignored me, and stopped asking for my help altogether. He just went ahead and started doing the project by himself while enlisting my mom for help.

Afterwards when my mom called me outside to tell me something, he pointed to my head and said to my mom unprompted “Don’t you think her hair is balding because of her birth control? I’ve told her this multiple times and she’s been refusing to stop it immediately.”

He is acting very oddly.

This was a completely unrelated issue and I don’t know why he brought it up.

He then said he needed to go to our current home to get a tool and said he would drop me at home while I’m there.

I don’t blame her for wanting to avoid spending time with him.

My mom offered to do it to avoid him berating me in the car ride but he just glared at her. I said I wouldn’t go home with him because I didn’t want to deal with his lectures for even longer.

He just stared me down and said that I was always attention seeking like this and I would never change.

He is incredibly immature.

Then he went back to his work and ignored me, living me to go back inside.

I feel like it’s completely reasonable to ask for details about a physical task when I’m already hurt, but his reaction is making me second-guess myself.

AITA?

Honestly, even if there were no injury, she has every reason to ask what the task is. This will help her to know how long it will take, whether she will be tired afterward, and any number of other things. Dad is being really weird about this whole thing.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this post about a hardworking employee whose management refuses to give them one single break.

Let’s take a look at what the people in the comments have to say about this odd situation.

He is treating both her and her mom badly.

I agree, her dad is acting poorly.

This is exactly what I was thinking, too.

Who would want to help someone like this?

This person says her father is acting like a narcissist.

I can’t imagine why her father would overreact like this when she just asked a very reasonable question. I’d be curious to know if this type of mistreatment is common for him or if it is very rare. If it is rare, he is likely overly stressed due to the move (not that this is a good excuse).

If he is going to treat her like that, she should walk away and not help at all. There is no reason to put up with this type of abuse from anyone. He owes her an apology.