Breakups can get messy when pets are involved. Unlike furniture or a car, you can’t just split a cat in half and send each person home with their share.

That’s what this man discovered after adopting two cats with his ex nearly a decade ago.

At first, they shared responsibility for the animals after the relationship ended. However, years passed and life went on, so the cat settled into a new routine.

Now his ex wants the cat back, and he has no intention of handing her over.

The only problem is that his ex has a history of making difficult situations even more stressful. So, he’s unsure how to tell her.

Read on for the full scoop.

AITA for not give up my cat that my ex and I got when we were together after she hasn’t seen her or asked about her in the past 3 years?

We adopted 2 cats 9-10 years ago. We broke up 5 years ago and shared responsibilities for them for about a year.

After that, she moved in with her new bf and my gf moved in with me. She couldn’t take the cat that she considered more so hers, because he had a dog that was a known animal killer.

We have been civil since. She asked about the cats here and there but didn’t want to visit, as she thought it would be like “teasing” the cats that she is back only to leave again. She wanted to take the cat but couldn’t do so, though she could after his dog passed.

Now she doesn’t have a dog, she wants the cat back.

Fast forward to today, and his dog has passed, and she said it’s time to bring her home.

Since my new gf has moved in, we both have grown very attached to the cat. The kitty was very depressed after her adoptive mother passed late last year, and then my mother’s cat, that I brought home 4 years prior, passed earlier this year.

She has just gotten used to her new normal and is now a senior, solo kitty, and I don’t want to do anything that would distress her.

He has no plans of giving her up.

We have decided we will not give her up and not offer visitation in fear that she will take her and we won’t ever see her again.

I had gone to a lot of therapy because of my ex, and manipulation was at the forefront of a lot of those sessions.

I paid for her when she didn’t have a job and still gave her money after we broke up and let her use my car until I could no longer financially sustain it.

Now, he’s stressed and unsure how to tell his ex.

I feel like she is again trying to manipulate me into giving her the cat, and I am fearing that she will make this a tumultuous experience when I say no. I’m trying to figure out the gentlest way of saying no to try to avoid a confrontation.

This whole thing has me so stressed out, and I haven’t replied. All I know is that she isn’t getting her.

My ex has since had a child of her own with the guy she left me for, and I feel that it’d be best for her to get a kitten from the shelter like how we got the cat she is wanting to take back. I just have no idea how to tell her any of this without her blowing up on me.

I have even gone as far as changing my lock because I can’t remember if she has a key to my place.

AITA?

Yikes! It’s too bad he can’t just ignore her.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a young woman who struggles with her new reality after learning her adoption story was a lie.

Let’s see what the people over at Reddit think he should do about it.

This reader thinks the cat is best off with him.

Exactly. The cat doesn’t know her anymore.

So true!

This person thinks he should block her.

He should keep the cat and stop worrying so much about what his ex thinks.

Five years have passed! During that time, the cat built a life with him and his girlfriend, and that’s the home she knows.

At some point, he needs to stop treating this like an open negotiation. The answer is no.

He doesn’t owe a long explanation or a compromise. Tell her the cat is staying where she is, wish her well, and move on. End of story.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a family who is resisting pressure from the HOA to remove their tree and lights.