Extended family visits are one of the more reliable pressure points in a marriage, and three months every summer is a boatload of pressure.

A man who bought a home with his wife without anticipating long term annual visits from her family found the arrangement shifting into something that looked a lot like a seasonal expectation.

His disabled BIL uses a wheelchair, which means the living room becomes a bedroom for the duration of every stay. His MIL comes along as well.

Needless to say, the house gets crowded, the routine disappears, and a quarter of every year starts to feel like it belongs to someone else.

But when he raised the issue with his wife, she seemed to think he was overreacting.

Read on for Reddit’s verdict.

AITA for not wanting my mother-in-law and disabled brother-in-law to stay with us for 3 months every summer?

My MIL lives in another country and is planning to stay with us for about three months this summer.

My BIL, who is ten years older than my wife, has been a wheelchair user since an accident ten years ago, and is also coming.

He makes his position on his BIL very clear.

I want to be clear that I don’t dislike my BIL because of his disability.

We just don’t have much in common and have never really bonded.

He stopped working after his accident as well.

But soon, accessibility becomes part of the conversation.

I actually get along well with my MIL.

The issue is that our house is not wheelchair accessible.

Since my BIL can’t easily get upstairs, we have to turn our main living room into his bedroom for the entire visit.

That means losing our primary shared space for three months.

After a while, it really starts to dampen their vibe.

No movie nights in the living room, no relaxing on the couch after work, and generally having much less privacy.

We also don’t have a downstairs shower, so whenever he visits we have to make alternative arrangements so he can shower somewhere accessible.

He’s tried letting his BIL stay before, but he didn’t think it went that well.

The last time they stayed, I found it exhausting.

The house felt crowded and messy, and I really missed having my own space and routine.

I haven’t lived with extended family in a long time, and I’ve realized how much I value having a quiet home.

But the couple never thought this would be part of their reality, and if they did, they might have chosen a more accessible house.

What makes this more complicated is that before my wife and I bought our house, she and her brother weren’t particularly close.

Because of that, we never expected him to visit for extended periods.

Now he feels like the family expects a lot out of them.

Now it seems the expectation is that both my MIL and BIL will come every summer for around three months so they can spend time with my wife and escape the extreme heat where they live.

I understand why they want to come.

My MIL is getting older, and my BIL’s disability limits his options.

But he’s not liking how responsible he’s feeling over this.

But if this becomes a yearly tradition, that’s a quarter of every year where we lose a significant amount of privacy and use of our own home.

I haven’t told them not to come.

He tries to commiserate with his wife, but she doesn’t really see the big deal.

I’ve only told my wife that I’m uncomfortable with the length of the stay and the idea of this becoming an annual expectation.

My wife thinks I’m focusing too much on the inconvenience.

I think it’s reasonable to want boundaries, even with family.

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AITA?

Everyone needs boundaries, especially family.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who is irate after she gave a group leader money for her daughter’s lunch, only to have him pocket the cash and ask all of the kids to pay their own way.

What did Reddit think?

There is most definitely such a thing as overstaying your welcome.

Even though it’s family, it can still be a big imposition.

This family really ought to start planning ahead.

By just about anyone else’s standards, 3 months is way pushing it.

Ultimately this is a story about what happens when a reasonable boundary request gets labeled as an overreaction before it is even fully discussed.

Reddit was on his side here — and the logic holds up. Three months a year is a significant chunk of time to lose your shared space, your routine, and the general sense that your home belongs to you.

His BIL’s situation is sympathetic and his MIL’s age is a real consideration, but neither of those facts makes the arrangement automatically fine just because no one said it was not.

This family is going to have to start learning how to communicate with each other better.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a tenant who walked away from their lease after the landlord hassled them over renting month-to-month.