When you choose a place to live, you have a fair amount of control. Sure, you can’t control whether the landlord will choose to rent to you, or, if you’re buying, whether the sellers will accept your offer, but you can choose which house you actually decide to put an offer in on, which neighborhoods you’re viewing houses in, and whether or not you move at all.

But there are several things that you have absolutely no control over whatsoever, and one of the most bothersome of these things can be the neighbors.

Because like it or not, your neighbors have a lot of influence on your home life.

Ideally they will be chill people who respect the folks living nearby, so they won’t be having too many parties or playing loud music into the night, and they won’t be having screaming matches while you’re trying to sleep. And hopefully they won’t be committing any crimes either, in the vicinity of your property or otherwise.

The folks in this story just want a peaceful life, but despite their best efforts, they can’t seem to get along with the neighbors.

But these aren’t just cold-shoulder types. Instead, the neighbors are making their dislike quite clear.

Read on to find out what is going on here.

I wonder if I’m being “set up” or if there is a “real” problem

When my husband first moved into a our home, he was single and rarely at home until he met me – then I moved in, and now we’ve been married for nineteen years.

This “community” is a small “fill in” where a factory used to stand. There are eleven semi attached units, one stand alone unit and four attached “townhouse” units built around a lane near a commuter rail station.

There are also several low income “co-op” housing units, a small terrace of eight houses that were originally built to house rail road workers, and some businesses, etc.

These are NOT on the lane, but across the street and in the general “hood”.

Let’s see how things are within the neighborhood.

The years when my husband wasn’t around, many neighbours took advantage, piled snow against the garage, etc.

My husband has an explosive temper, so he had me handle things with neighbours. This backfired as they blamed me, “because it was okay for them to do all these things for six years until I showed up.”

We’ve had a lot of property damage, theft and slander from these people and people who moved in after them.

All that I want from anyone is kindness, to be able to say “Hello,” chat about weather, chat about sports, gardens, etc. If there is a connection that can develop on another level, so be it but basically, all we ask is for people NOT to steal from us, damage our property, toss trash onto our property – and it would be nice if they didn’t slander us.

The slander, as with the other things, has been documented but has no “real” effect on our lives.

But recently, something strange has been going on.

The current issue is that two neighbours have been talking outside while I’m on my front porch. Both men seem worried about “crime in the lane” and about their cars and back sliding doors being smashed in.

Since one is openly hostile and lives with a neighbor woman and the other isn’t friendly, it’s not cool to ask. Most of the “nice” neighbors have moved or there are new people who don’t even say “Hello”.

I’ve checked crime reports but don’t see anything, and I’ve been excluded from their “secret” private Facebook group.

We have great security, but it would be nice to know if there is an issue – and unfortunately we are surrounded by neighbours from hell.

This has all left her wondering how to deal with it.

Should I call the non emergency number and speak to a community police officer? Or should I seek out a friendly neighbour, as there are a handful that I can trust.

While we have security, I would like to know what we’re dealing with behind our house.

I also don’t know if these people are saying these things to “set us up” or upset us for no reason.

I an not going to call the police but was considering calling the community cops to see if there was a prowler in the area, but will first ask a few of the very few friendly neighbors.

This sounds like a really uncomfortable community to live in – and it makes you wonder why this couple have stayed living in the area for so long.

It’s horrible to not feel safe in your own home, and yet that is the reality they are facing every day.

Whether the others are trying to set them up or not, it really sucks.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit are saying about this.

This person thought their personal safety and security should be paramount.

While others agreed that this sounded like an unpleasant place to live.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that the husband had put her in a really difficult situation.

It is absolutely true that if the husband hadn’t ignored the issues for years and then leaned on his partner to actually confront them, she wouldn’t have ended up with this unfortunate reputation. But equally, the way she’s being treated by the neighbors is abhorrent.

Regardless of whether they like her or not, her personal and property’s safety and security should not be put at risk. Because this kind of criminal behaviour can really affect your mental health, and it’s clear with the paranoia about whether these neighbours were really concerned or just setting her up, that she’s being really affected by this.

Sure, moving might seem like an obvious remedy for this, but sometimes there are reasons why folk can’t or won’t move house. And given that they’ve seemingly been there for over two decades now, perhaps they don’t want to uproot their lives in that way.

That’s okay, but if they’re not going to move they’re going to need to put further security measures in place – because their lives can’t go on like this.