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Being a woman, even in the 2020s, can feel like a constant balancing act. In some situations, it can feel like you really need to monitor who you are, and it’s something that has been conditioned into many of us by society from a young age. Don’t be emotionless because that’s cold, but don’t be too emotional either because that’s hysteria. Be friendly, because otherwise you’ll come off arrogant and unlikeable, but if you’re too friendly you’ll come off as a tease. Don’t dress up too much because it makes you look pretentious, but if you dress down you look like a slob. Don’t have kids too early because that’s a disgrace, but if you have kids too late you’re a geriatric mother – and heaven forbid you don’t have kids at all.

Let’s just say that there are a lot of rules to abide by in some circles – and if you choose not to abide by them? You’ll certainly feel freer and likely happier in your life, but you are likely to find yourself heavily judged. But who are we kidding, you’re being heavily judged anyway. At some point it’s just time to make your own decisions, ignore the haters, and be the person you want to be.

The woman in this story is a naturally friendly and bubbly person, and thought nothing of having a polite, light chat with one of the security guards while she was working a quiet shift. But she quickly found out where her natural (or perhaps, conditioned) friendliness became mistaken for something more, with very awkward consequences.

Read on to find out more.

I was only being friendly…

So I work in retail, and my allocated aisles are right in front of the large (always open) shop doors.

The shop is in a shopping centre (mall) which has their own set of security guards looking after the place (as most do).

The guards get bored sometimes when they’re standing in front of the shop, so it isn’t unusual for them to strike up a bit of conversation, especially since I am only a few feet away at the other side of the door.

And one of the conversations really stuck out to this employee.

Yesterday, one guard stopped for a wee chat, just your general weather etc., conversation which led on to me talking about being trained as a make-up artist, alongside working in retail.

As part of my training I did some special effects make-up, to which the guard (who was about fifty years old, balding and slightly tubby) mentioned recently seeing a horror film in the cinema.

I asked him, “Oh, was it good?” to which he replied, “Yeah it was great!”

I told him, “I must go see it sometime then!”

But she never imagined what he’d say next.

He said to me, “If I knew you were interested I would have taken you last night!”

I replied, “Haha, I’ll get contacting my friends tonight and find one to go with.”

But then the guard said, Oh I’ll take you, it’s on for another week, when are you free?”

To this I awkwardly said, “Heh, um, we work shifts and um, I haven’t got my rota yet.”

This guard just wasn’t taking the hint.

Then he told me, “Oh that’s ok, when are you working next? I’ll check back with you, or have you a mobile phone?” I said, “Uh, not on my person, no.”

The guard said, “If you had a number I could give you a ring, I’ll take you to see it.”

I was slightly speechless at this point, when he said, “I’ll call in next time you’re working!”

And then he left. I then repeated the story to my manager who burst out laughing.

Yikes. This guard really didn’t have a clue.

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Perhaps he was being friendly, fatherly even, to this retail assistant and make-up artist. Or maybe he thought he had a shot with her.

Either way, he really wasn’t getting the hint.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person wondered how young she was for him to be so forward.

Given the Redditor confirmed that she was in her twenties, it seems super weird that this portly security guard wasn’t taking the hint. Perhaps he really was just being friendly, striking up a conversation with a young girl who wanted to see a movie and feeling like he could help her out. If he has daughters or granddaughters around her age, that might just feel natural to him.

But let’s be real, the chances are his motivations were something else entirely. He was being quite pushy when it came to getting her number and coming back to check in the future when their shifts aligned, even after she’d said no and that she’d go with friends. The truth is, she was just being polite and humouring him, having a light chat as folk often do when they’re working and there’s not much going on. Not every friendly conversation is an invitation for something more – and he really needed to read the room here.

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Author

Kyra Piperides

Kyra Piperides, PhD | Contributing Science Writer

Dr. Kyra Piperides is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter, specializing in Science & Discovery. Holding a PhD in English with a dedicated focus on the intersections of science, politics, and literature, she brings over 12 years of professional writing and editorial expertise to her reporting.

Kyra possesses a highly authoritative background in academic publishing, having served as the editor of an academic journal for three years. She is also the published author of two books and numerous research-driven articles. At TwistedSifter, she leverages her rigorous academic background to translate complex scientific concepts, global tech innovations, and environmental breakthroughs into highly engaging, accessible narratives for a mainstream audience.

Based in the UK, Kyra is an avid backpacker who spends her free time immersing herself in different cultures across distant shores—a passion that brings a rich, global perspective to her writing about Earth and nature.

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