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For many people, dating can be a lot of fun. You get to meet new people, go out for food or activities, and talk about them and yourselves – all while dressed up and feeling your best. So for plenty of folk, while finding their person is the end goal, it’s about the journey too – and if they make some friends with people they’re not compatible with relationship-wise, or at least end up with some good stories to tell, then it was all worth it in the end. Because every date is another step toward their person, who they will find, in the end.

But for the woman in this story, going out on the date was a kind of end of an era. Because she’s been strung along by a guy she’s been in a situationship with for years, all without any kind of signposting for what the future looked like for them. So when she finally saw their connection for what it was, she scheduled a date with a stranger – and it went really well. Now she’s in a tough situation with her situationship, who has taken this opportunity to get intense about things.

Read on to find out how this one pans out.

AITA for going on a date?

I (27, female) have known this man (thirties, male) for the past six or seven years. We met online through gaming. He is in the military. He moved to my state a couple years ago and we met for the first time last year.

Before meeting in real life, conversations were pretty chill – but after meeting, he told me that he was attracted to me. I liked him for years, so I was excited to hear that from him. We started going on dates – concerts, movies, restaurants, etc., and I genuinely enjoyed my time with him… until I realised that he was stringing me along.

We went from texting daily about life to him not even asking me how I’m doing and instead telling me about his sleep schedule. We would text back and forth for five minutes at a time – and I mean rapidly – to him taking five plus hours to respond to me.

I know he’s busy, but surely he has time to check his phone. And this is coming from someone (me) who absolutely hates texting.

And now, things are changing for her.

Fast-forward to yesterday, when I went out on such a wonderful date with someone else. It was my first time meeting them. It was so natural. I felt seen and appreciated more than words can describe, and feel incredibly lucky to know them now.

After coming back from my date, I told the other guy about it. I told him that I’ve been holding myself back waiting for him to make a move.

People in my life are asking me if I’m dating anyone and tell them no, because I don’t have a partner. I have family members practically begging me to find someone, get married, and especially have kids.

I’m not trying to rush, but as a woman, my biological clock starts ticking past 25. He knows I want kids, but I need marriage first. Lots of people are shocked when I tell them I’m single, and I can’t give them a solid reason why.

So finally, she needed answers.

I asked him if anyone knows about me. He said his little sister does. My mom and friends know about him but haven’t met him.

I wouldn’t have said anything to them if I knew his fifteen year old sister is the only one aware (which I think is weird), especially because according to him, he’s not close to that side of his family. He’s trying to see if he’ll be moving again in 2028 or if he’ll be staying in my state.

He said he thought it was implied that we were dating. I told him that I don’t work with what’s implied. He told me that he felt jealous. I asked him why there’s jealousy when we’re not together and he said it’s because he has feelings for me.

I’d liked him for several years and told him yesterday that I don’t have patience with anyone else like I do with him. He said that me liking him is a recent thing, which is not true. I did, however, tell him that my interest in him is wavering.

And all of this is leaving her very confused.

I always asked him why he doesn’t want to date me and he’s never given me a proper answer, including last night. He’s never asked me to be his girlfriend. I asked him yesterday what his intentions are with me and he said he has none. The person I went out with yesterday told me that they eventually want a serious relationship.

I realized that I was entertaining the idea of what could be instead of what is for far too long. I cannot let life and opportunities pass me by for 2028.

He told me that he has to process our conversation yesterday, which is understandable, but it’s like what am I sticking around for when I have people who’d jump at the chance to date me?

Was I wrong for telling this guy about my date?

AITA?

It’s quite clear that he has been messing her around for far too long.

This woman wants a serious relationship, she wants marriage and kids – and all the time he’s expecting her to hold out until 2028 for an answer?

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This has gone on for too long, she needs to cut her losses now and move on.

Let’s see what the Reddit community thought about this.

This person agreed that she should look elsewhere.

While others though the military guy’s actions were a clear warning sign.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought she had her answer.

If he hasn’t committed now, he’s not going to – and no one should have to wait two years to see if a relationship is going to come into fruition. If he wanted it enough, it would have happened already, and the fact that it hasn’t says everything. In truth, she’s been on a date with someone else and felt a real connection with someone mature enough to lay out their intentions. So whether it’s with the guy she went on a date with or a different person she finds down the line, it’s clear she needs to move on – and this guy is going to have to make his peace with that.

Sure he might be jealous, but he had his chance. She’d been waiting around for him for years, and now he’s missed out. If he wants to sulk about that or try to emotionally manipulate her? Well he clearly doesn’t have her best interests in mind – which just goes to show that he doesn’t really care for her at all. Unless he’s going to get his act together right away, he needs to say goodbye, because she deserves someone better.

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Author

Kyra Piperides

Kyra Piperides, PhD | Contributing Science Writer

Dr. Kyra Piperides is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter, specializing in Science & Discovery. Holding a PhD in English with a dedicated focus on the intersections of science, politics, and literature, she brings over 12 years of professional writing and editorial expertise to her reporting.

Kyra possesses a highly authoritative background in academic publishing, having served as the editor of an academic journal for three years. She is also the published author of two books and numerous research-driven articles. At TwistedSifter, she leverages her rigorous academic background to translate complex scientific concepts, global tech innovations, and environmental breakthroughs into highly engaging, accessible narratives for a mainstream audience.

Based in the UK, Kyra is an avid backpacker who spends her free time immersing herself in different cultures across distant shores—a passion that brings a rich, global perspective to her writing about Earth and nature.

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