She Was Only 9 When She Learned Her Dad Was Cheating—Years Later, Her Mom Turned to Her for Answers
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Adult conflicts should never be the child’s concern.
This woman recalled a hurtful past memory on how her dad cheated on her mom when she was a little girl. She witnessed something she didn’t fully understand and turned to her therapist for guidance. Years after her parents’ divorce, the issue unexpectedly resurfaced, and she was being blamed for not telling her mother about it.
Don’t you thinkit’s unfair? Readthe full story below. This is one of those painful family situations where the hurt from the past never seems to fully disappear.
AITAH for not telling my mom my dad was cheating??
Here’s some back story. My mom and I don’t get along. The older I get, the meaner she gets.
I (20F) and my mom (62F) had an argument a couple weeks ago where she mentioned how I never told her my dad was cheating on her.
Now, here’s why I’m making this post. I was 9 when this happened. My father is a trucker.
He barely ever came home back then. Once every 6 months, I went over the road with him.
This young woman recalled what happened when she was 9 years old.
One summer break when I was 9, he was talking to this woman who was not my mom.
He was telling her how beautiful she was and how he couldn’t wait to take her out on a date when he got back.
I knew it wasn’t my mom only because the contact was different when she called, and I had his phone had her name and picture on it.
But I also knew it wasn’t my mom because he never talked to my mom like that.
Her mom and dad would always fight.
When he and my mom talked, they always fought, and my mom would end up yelling at him and hanging up on him.
All that, and I didn’t understand at the time so I talked to my therapist.
Because talking to my mom when I was confused on something went about as well as when my dad called my mom.
My therapist explained what was happening that the woman on the phone was my dad’s girlfriend and that he was cheating on my mom.
Then a few weeks after I talked to my therapist, my dad surprised my mom with divorce papers while she was at work.
My mom told me about it and said they were getting a divorce.
They decided to finally get a divorce.
That’s when my 10-year-old self decided to blurt out to her, “Mommy, daddy has a girlfriend.”
Then, my mom asked questions like who is she? What’s her name? I answered.
Turns out my dad cheated on my mom before they had me with the same woman.
Then, she went back to my dad’s house and confronted him. He called me liar again and again, and she punched him in the chest.
They decided to continue the divorce.
Now, her mom is still mad at her for not being totally honest with her.
On my 10th birthday, my mom moved us both out of my dad’s house.
They’ve now been divorced for 10 years. My father walked out on me for the last time when I was 15.
And we haven’t heard from him since. And now, here we are.
My mother is mad at me for not telling her about him cheating on her in front of me when I was 9.
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So, am I the jerk?
Expecting a 9-year-old child to understand infidelity or know how to handle it is an unfair burden. OP did the best she could with the maturity she had at the time. Clearly, the responsibility for the affair rested entirely on the adults involved.
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Let’s read the comments of other Reddit users on this story.
This person thinks the mom is insane.
Here’s a sensible point.
People are siding with OP.
Another user chimes in.
Finally, plain and simple.
Children shouldn’t be blamed for the mistakes adults make.
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