If you are lucky enough to own a vacation property, you’ll surely want to spend as much time there as possible. At the same time, it’s highly common for folk to generously offer their vacation property for friends and family to use when they’re not using it themselves. Because when we have something in abundance, it’s generous to share it with others – and why wouldn’t you want to share the joy of a vacation with those folk you care about?

The couple in this story are in exactly that boat: they own a vacation property and enjoy spending time there, with one partner visiting the property once a week. Of course, it stands empty at times too, and after dabbling with Airbnb, the couple were happy to let friends and family stay there on occasion too.

But what happens when someone you care about wants to stay at the place immediately, and you’ve not prepared it for guests? Well, both partners were about to find out – and needless to say, it was not a situation that brought them closer to one another.

Read on to find out what happened.

AITA for not agreeing to let my partners friends use our vacation property on short notice?

My partner and I (together about seven years) separated late last year, largely because of my drinking. I was a functional alcoholic, but an alcoholic.

I’ve been sober for over seven months now. We’ve been slowly reconciling, and I’m doing everything I can to be a better person/partner while she rebuilds trust in me.

We co-own a vacation property about two hours north of the city and split the expenses. I’m up there almost every weekend (Friday to Sunday, sometimes longer when I work from home), and I do most of the upkeep (mowing, gardening, etc.).

One of our two dogs needs a lot of exercise (she’s a hound and spends all daylight hours outside when we’re up north).

Let’s see how the situation is with his partner.

My partner travels a lot; she’s currently abroad on a work trip she’s extending into a personal one. When she isn’t travelling she lives at the condo I lease in the city (she moved back in a few months ago). Right now I’m home with the dogs.

Here’s the situation. On Thursday afternoon she messaged: “My friend and her husband want to head up north this weekend and stay at our place Saturday night. Is that ok?”

I didn’t recognize the friend’s name, so I asked who it was and mentioned I’d be up there Friday to Sunday as usual. She reminded me it’s a close work friend of hers, someone she says is “like family.”

I’ve met her a few times; she’s lovely. I’ve never met the husband, and she confirmed she hasn’t either.

Read on to find out how he responded.

I asked if we could talk on the phone that evening, because I didn’t fully understand what she was asking logistically. The house wasn’t guest-ready: the sheets needed changing, dirty laundry in the hamper, and about three acres of grass hadn’t been cut in two weeks.

I told her I had no problem with her friends using the place, I just wanted it made ready first. Since it was so last-minute, I offered to go up Friday as planned, get the guest room and house sorted, do the chores, and happily host them while I am there Saturday night and Sunday.

She said she thought it was “weird” that I’d be sleeping there while they stayed.

I said I thought it was weird to send her friends to a house that hadn’t been prepared for them, doing our laundry and staying overnight with neither of us there, with neither of us having ever met the husband.

Ultimately, they came to a conclusion.

I considered driving up Friday and leaving Saturday so they’d have the place to themselves, but that’s a lot of driving and chores for a single night, and I work full time and need my weekends to recharge.

I told her they’re welcome any other weekend with a bit more notice so we can get the place ready. I love that property, did a lot of the renovations myself, and enjoy sharing it. We even used to Airbnb it, so strangers staying there isn’t the issue; we just always prepped it first.

She passed my offer along and they declined. She thinks I’m being unreasonable and that I should have just changed my plans and let them go up.

AITA?

If they were still letting out the property on Airbnb that would be one thing, but it’s quite understandable that he didn’t want folk staying in his home until it was guest-ready.

The problem isn’t this guy, it’s the short notice he was given to sort the place out for them.

After all, who wants to arrive somewhere and have to change someone’s dirty sheets?

Let’s see what folk on Reddit made of this.

This person confirmed that he did nothing wrong.

While others thought he’d actually saved his partner some embarrassment.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who refuses to give up her own holiday traditions to spend the day with her family at her brother’s cabin.

Meanwhile, this Redditor was suspicious that something much fishier might have been going on.

Regardless of who it was that was planning to stay in the property, giving the guy no time to get the place ready was really presumptuous of his partner. Whether this is a one off or a pattern of behaviour, taking his time, energy, and effort for granted is a huge red flag. If her friend had stayed at the property without it being cleaned and prepared, her reputation would likely have tanked – but then, why is her friend expecting to stay somewhere for free with such short notice anyway?

Maybe it’s to do with their reconciliation and the blame that she could still feel toward him, or maybe it’s simply that she doesn’t understand why he can’t head over earlier, or simply allow her friends to stay there without preparation, but unless both partners are on board the visit shouldn’t be happening anyway. As it is, he was willing to do the long drive to prepare the property at the whim of his partner and her friend – that level of effort should be applauded.