One Family Fundraiser Became A Source Of Stress When A Struggling Adult Child Felt Pressured By Dad To Contribute Beyond Their Means
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Generosity stops being helpful when giving places the donor in financial danger.
How much should an unemployed person sacrifice to prove they care about a friend facing disaster?
Instead of ignoring the fundraiser, this job seeker planned recurring donations once steady income made that commitment sustainable.
Family pressure made the wait feel like betrayal.
AITA for wanting to be in a more stable financial position before donating to my friend’s fundraiser?
So a while ago, my best friend’s house got flooded, and he lost a bunch of essentials, including his washer, dryer, and water heater.
And ever since, I wanted to donate money to him to help him.
But this person is kinda running low on funds right now.
However, I’ve been out of a job since last August, and I was trying to find a job so that I at least have a source of income before I do this.
The plan was to donate $100 to his fundraiser every month until he can get his stuff replaced.
Their family isn’t exactly helping the situation.
However, my dad’s been on my tail about donating to him and pressuring me while I was feeling overwhelmed.
He knew I was overwhelmed about my job situation, but he still kept pressuring me even though that’s one of the primary reasons I was looking for a job.
Their family’s pressure is hitting them in a tough spot.
And my fear of being a bad friend is one of my biggest insecurities, so for my dad to harp on that just really hurt.
But at the same time, I wonder if maybe I could’ve been doing more than I am now.
I did recently land a job at Walmart, and I plan to donate $100 to my friend’s fundraiser once I start it.
They start wondering just how guilty they should feel about all this.
But I’m wondering if I’m being a bad friend after all, since this friend has done so much for me and I feel like the least I could do is donate to him.
AITA here?
No one should have to have their family breathing down their neck while also being concerned about where their next paycheck is coming from.
What did Reddit think?
Maybe there’s another way this person could help their friend?
It’s impossible to give money that you don’t have.
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It’s best to just be honest with their friend about their limits.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who feels hoodwinked after finding out the sick father she’s been supporting has plenty of money of his own.
This person is already being way more generous than any reasonable person would expect them to be.
This friend always intended to help, but waiting until employed before promising $100 monthly was responsible rather than selfish.
Support does not have to be purely financial, and Dad could have encouraged smaller practical contributions without weaponizing a personal insecurity.
Nothing says charity like pressuring someone without a paycheck to open their wallet.
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