When a neighbor asks for help, it is good to give them a hand when you can, but there have to be some limits on what you will do.

What would you do if your neighbor had his power turned off over a year ago, so he kept coming over each day for water, coffee, and a ride to the store?

That is what is happening to the woman in this story, and while she wants to help him, he is becoming a major burden. Plus, he keeps buying video game items at the store rather than turning his power back on, so she is growing resentful.

She really needs to set some boundaries before helping him any further.

AITAH for wanting to tell me neighbor off?

Would I (35f) be a jerk if I told my neighbor to stop coming over?

Why doesn’t he have power?

My neighbor is a man in his 60s who constantly comes over to my house to ask for water and rides.

A little back story, he does not have power and has not had power since April 2025. He has come over daily to ask for water for coffee and rides to the store.

He clearly has some money trouble.

At first I didn’t mind at all because times are tough and power bills can get out of hand. As the year went on, I wondered why he still hadn’t gotten his power bill paid.

I asked him how much he owed and he said 800 dollars and they would turn him back on. I asked if he had applied for general assistance and/or heap, he told me he had but they wouldn’t help him because he has used them too many times.

What is he doing with his disability checks?

It is now January 2026 and his power is still off. He is on a fixed income (disability) and I understand it’s not much, but the man has no other bills.

He owns his home so there isn’t a rent bill or mortgage payment, his cellphone is a pre paid $40 dollars a month. His property taxes are less than 1000 dollars a year.

Having no heat is very dangerous.

I can’t understand why in 9 months he hasn’t been able to put any money on his bill whatsoever. When I bring him to the store he buys google play cards for his games on his phone, like a few hundred dollars worth a month.

It is extremely cold here and the nights get below negative. Another neighbor has done a welfare check on him as cold nights can be very dangerous.

I assumed adult protective services would have gotten involved after the police were called and helped with getting him the resources he needs but I don’t know for sure.

She should not let him make her uncomfortable in her own home.

He has always creeped me out a bit, but our interactions were always pretty short, so I just dealt with it because I felt bad for him.

Recently, he has been trying to push his way into my home and has been trying to “hangout”. I have to tell him I’m leaving in order to get him to leave.

Yes, he is definitely taking advantage of her good heart.

My dog absolutely hates this man and barks constantly when he is around. (She doesn’t do this to anyone else) He has also started asking for me to buy him gas for his generator, which I have a couple of times.

I have tried to be a kind neighbor and helped where I could, but it is becoming too much. I feel like I am getting taken advantage of and I am extremely frustrated.

She needs to set some reasonable boundaries.

I feel like I’m walking on eggshells waiting for this man to show up in the morning. If I am not home he will wait till he sees me pull in and run over before I’ve had a chance to get out of my car.

I have no idea where to go from here. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, and I also don’t want to not be helpful, but something has to give. I am also not the only neighbor he goes to daily for his basic needs. He is known in my town as our resident homeless guy.

AITA?

Some people will just keep taking more and more until someone stops them, and that seems to be the case with this guy. She needs to establish boundaries and hold firm to them.

Read on to see what the people in the comments think about what is happening here.

This commenter says that she should trust her instincts.

She wants to be helpful, but he just keeps taking advantage.

Calling a social worker is a good idea no matter what else she does.

She needs to be very firm and not worry about offending him.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a tenant who is getting evicted because they refuse to let their landlord in whenever he wants.

This commenter says that he just keeps using people until they stop him.

She needs to set boundaries and be firm with this neighbor. Otherwise, he will keep taking advantage of her forever.