Mother Pressures Bride To Have Stepfather Walk Her Down The Aisle, But She Stands Her Ground And Sticks With Her Choice
by Laura Ornella
Weddings are to be celebrated, but a lot of drama can lead up to the big day.
When your family is blended or someone important is missing for one reason or another, emotions can certainly run high.
This daughter might have been moved by her mother’s insistence, but not in a way that made her change her mind.
Check out all of the details!
AITA for not agreeing to my stepfather “giving me away” during my wedding?
I, 27F, am getting to my fiancé in early next year.
My mom married “Phil” when I was almost 22. I was very supportive in her relationship as Phil is a great guy, and my parents have been divorced forever.
It was time that she found someone, and I was happy that she [wasn’t] alone anymore.
I, however, made it very clear that — while I would love and respect him as her husband — he will never be my father. [He’s] more like a relative.
To which she and him both said they understood.
That’s so great she felt comfortable voicing this.
Last year, when I got engaged, I made it very clear to her that while he is her husband, he isn’t my father and will not be participating in the wedding as my “father” (i.e. not be giving me away or in any other rituals of the wedding).
He can sit with the family, etc, but just not follow the duties of my father.
She wasn’t very happy about it, but that was that.
Well, surely she’s had time to warm up to the daughter’s feelings.
Fast forward to today, we’ve started talking about the guest list and ironing out the details of the wedding when my mom said that as per my culture (I’m not American or catholic) Phil will have to give me away.
I called that ******** (not in those exact words) because when my mom remarried, my grandma was the only one who gave her away and that caused no problems.
When she realized that this didn’t work, she told me that it would be very insulting to Phil if he doesn’t get the respect he deserves.
I said yes, and he’ll be attending the wedding but not as my father like I’ve always made very clear.
This sounds like it aligns with what her daughter had originally voiced.
She went to say that I’m not accepting of her relationship, I’m making a mess of her life as this will cause a strain on her relationship with Phil etc.
We got into fight to which she said, “Fine, the best solution is that you get married in city hall, so that we can avoid all this,” to which I said, “I don’t want to.”
Why should the daughter change her plans?
She then said she’ll let Phil know that, because of this, it’s best if he doesn’t come to the wedding.
And I said that’s her call. I would want him to be there, but that’s up to her.
We ended the call on a bad note and haven’t talked since. It’s been a few days now.
Wow, this is extremely prideful behavior.
I am very close to my mom since she’s done a lot for me as a single mother and don’t want to hurt her.
At the same time, I don’t think it’s fair for her to keep expecting all this from me.
While I respect Phil, I don’t want him to participate in my wedding like a father.
So AITA?
Weddings are so special, and it isn’t anyone else’s day, but the betrothed.
Does Reddit agree? Let’s find out.
One user noted that the daughter didn’t see Phil as a parent.
Another user reminded her whose day it was.
A commenter also mentioned how many methods her mother used to get her way.
Finally, this reader advised her to talk it all out with Phil. She might be surprised.
It’s too bad this mother is making her daughter’s special day all about her.
Definitely a weird hill to die on.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.
Categories: STORIES
Tags: · aita, bad mom, family drama, family fight, mother daughter, picture, reddit, relationship drama, stepfather, top, wedding drama, weddings
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