Losing a loved one, especially a spouse or a parent, can be extremely painful and it is not something you every fully get past.

What would you do if a stepparent was trying to take over a project that your mother used to do with you, even though you asked her not to?

That is what the young lady in this story is experiencing and she finally lashed out at her father about it.

Read on to get all the details and see what you think.

AITA for telling my dad he disrespected my mom’s memory?

My mom died when I (16f) was 6 and my brother (20m) was 10.

Sounds like a lovely tradition.

She had created these scrapbooks of memories and letters for us and she encouraged us to be a part of creating them.

My brother was writing in his before she died but I mostly drew or maybe made some small notes.

When mom died my brother wrote in both of ours and encouraged me to keep drawing/making notes and later writing.

Dad never had much to do with them.

He always said it was more of moms thing and he never was good with words, written or otherwise, which is true.

When I was 10 he remarried.

That is sweet of her to offer, and totally understandable why she said no.

His wife asked about the book a lot and she offered to take over the book for me (though not my brother because he was always rude to her).

I said no.

She asked multiple times.

She really needs to let it go.

I told her no and that mom hadn’t wanted dad’s new wife to take over what she started.

She was hurt when I told her and my dad suggested that I didn’t need to say something like that to her and I should forget about what mom would have wanted.

I told him I had already said no before and she kept asking.

That it was true and he knew it.

He said mom was selfish for that.

That it put him in a bad place for remarrying.

I told him that wasn’t my fault and I could understand why she wouldn’t want her replacement to do it.

He told me his wife wasn’t a replacement and was special and important to us in her own right.

I said she was acting like she was mom’s replacement when she refused to take no for an answer.

He asked me to see the positive instead of the negative.

My brother was more rude after he heard about what went down.

Wow, why doesn’t she try to start her own tradition or something.

She kept asking every couple of weeks since. I always said no.

A few days ago I came home from school early and my dad and his wife were home.

She had my book out and was trying to think of something to write in it.

I snatched it off her before she could actually do it.

She started crying and I started yelling.

Dad told me to calm down and she was trying to show her love.

I told him I didn’t care and he knew I didn’t want her writing in it.

That he knew it wasn’t for her.

He told me to calm down and I only said that because of what mom said.

It seems like he is.

I told him he disrespected her memory by almost letting it happen.

He asked how I could say that, he loved mom and he had her longer than me, that I was only trying to hurt him by saying that.

Then he told me mom’s been dead a long time now.

I told him I know but he only cares about his new wife now.

He went into my room afterward and told me I really hurt him and shouldn’t accuse him of disrespecting the woman who made him a dad.

AITA?

This is a difficult situation for everyone involved, but dad (and step-mom) need to respect her wishes.

Read on to see what some of the people in the comments had to say.

This person says that dad did indeed disrespect his late wife.

This family needs to work on boundaries.

Yes, the new wife is trying to be the new mom.

This commenter is a stepparent and thinks stepmom is crossing a line.

This person suggested starting a new book for the current family.

This family needs some counseling badly.

Otherwise the dad is going to lose them both.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.