In a relationship, there are certain areas in which you need to be compatible if things are to work out.

Besides the obvious aesthetics and attraction, much more fundamental questions are around whether or not you want children, your political leanings, your values and what you want out of life.

And above all else, it’s important to make sure that your approach to finances is compatible too – or at the very least, that you can come to some sort of compromise or understanding.

The man in this story thought he had this – until a little digging showed that when it came to money, he and his girlfriend had very different approaches.

Read on to find out what happened between them.

AITA when my well off girlfriend won’t help me?

My girlfriend and I are both 25: she’s an accountant and I’m a first year in a trade union. I’m earning $22 per hour while she’s earning $33 per hour.

She just recently got her first job offer for like $80,0000 a year, which is more money than either of us have ever seen.

I’m very happy for her – she’s worked very hard in school to get where she is today and I want her to succeed no matter what.

Sadly, I don’t think the feeling is mutual.

Let’s see why he thinks the sentiment doesn’t go both ways.

While she was in school, she applied to every scholarship under the sun and got to the point that her money got refunded to her. After five years of college, she managed to save up $15,000 of scholarship money. She is amazing.

I, on the other hand, am earning $22 per hour until I get my 2nd year raise in half a month. I try to save money but, as many in a relationship know, it’s hard to do that when you want to go on dates.

I didn’t mind usually until I complained her that I shouldn’t keep spending all this money on us, because I just totalled my car and I need to save – or at the very least, take some type of loan out.

Now my girlfriend, with her vast accounting knowledge, recommended that I save $50 per month. She says that’s what she does herself and she’s doing great…

Read on to find out why that comment made him so confused.

I was baffled. I’m over here saving as much as I can from each paycheck, and she’s just saving $50 from a $33 per hour paycheck, and she calls it responsible saving.

So I questioned her, where does the rest of the money go to? I kind of knew it went to clothes and makeup and just luxurious things, but I had n0 clue she was spending her whole paycheck on these luxuries.

It’s so annoying because whenever I question her on this she says, “I have $14k in my savings, I’m doing just fine trust me.” It is so annoying because it’s true, she is well off from those scholarships.

But my point is if she just saved like people normally would, she’d be doing a whole lot better.

And this unveiled a whole lot of unfairness within their relationship.

So then I asked her, why haven’t she ever thought of saving some of that shopping money and spending it on us like I do with darn near all my money?

She said, “because I don’t want to spend my money on that. That’s on you if you want to, but I need to save my money,” (referring to her $50 she sets aside every paycheck).

And that’s when I realized that I am being played financially. Everything else about this relationship is perfect, except for this.

I can’t believe I’ve been played this poorly. Or maybe I haven’t, maybe I’m over reacting and this is what a relationship should be. Maybe I’m not ready for a relationship, I don’t really know at this point, I feel numb.

AITA?

He is absolutely being taken advantage of by his girlfriend, who is very happy to accept monetary gestures from him but is refusing to reciprocate.

If she doesn’t want to spend her money on them, the least she could have done was be upfront about that from the beginning, rather than letting him spend whilst all her money was splurged on luxury goods.

Sure she doesn’t have to reciprocate, but the way that she’s treating him is entitled and unfair.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person questioned whether financially, this couple were compatible.

And others explained how they balanced finances with partners on different incomes.

Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged him to stop spending so much on her.

It’s true: finances can be a real sticking point for couples, and this needs to be handled delicately whilst also making sure that both partners have financial independence whilst they’re also on the same page.

Right now, it really doesn’t feel like this couple are on the same page – and that needs to change.

Otherwise, he’s just going to end up resenting her – and if their relationship ends, he’ll be the one without any savings to fall back on.

And nobody wants that.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.