Having an effective support system is essential for new parents.

This new mom and her husband experienced greater support from his family than hers, so they’re thinking of moving near his family, where it’s more financially feasible for them to buy a house. But her parents are not so amused with the idea.

Read the full story below.

AITA for “ripping my daughter away from family”

I (25F) and my husband (26M) recently had a baby. Here’s some context for the story: My husband and I grew up in different states on opposite sides of the country. When we both graduated college, he moved in with me in my home state.

I had a very long, difficult labor. I almost died, and so did my child. She came out not breathing and was totally limp when she was placed on my chest. My parents are divorced. I am an only child.

We live about 15 minutes from my side of the family. So far, after my daughter’s birth, my mother has visited maybe four times. She shows up, takes a couple of photos for Facebook to show the world how great of a grandma she is, then leaves.

My dad is very involved, but I struggle with that since he and I did not have a great relationship while I was growing up. He has been narcissistic, manipulative, and emotionally abusive my entire life (this becomes important later).

This new mom has her reasons why she doesn’t want to stay in her home state.

My husband’s family lives about 11 hours from us and has seen the baby more than my own mother has.

When we visited his family during the holidays, we were able to do date nights, have babysitters, and not have the baby tied to us the entire day.

Our laundry was done, we got to take naps, showers, whatever we needed to do to rejuvenate when our daughter had a rough night.

When we visit my side, it’s “Let me hold the baby!” as soon as we walk in the door, and we aren’t even acknowledged. We’ve gotten no help from them whatsoever.

The area we live in is very expensive, and we currently rent an apartment. It’s extremely difficult for us to get ahead enough to put a down payment toward a house because of the cost of living in our area.

But her parents did not like the idea of them relocating.

Recently, my husband and I have discussed the idea of moving closer to his family. He and I have both been applying to jobs pretty religiously.

Somehow, my dad got wind of this and threatened to not be involved in our lives anymore if we move and “rip his granddaughter away from him.”

This personally was pretty hurtful because I’m his only child, and he seems to be more concerned with losing our daughter than his own.

These comments were very hurtful to my husband as well, who has seen my dad as a father figure since his dad isn’t in the picture. My mother has made comments as well.

My response has been, and remains, that my husband’s family made the effort to take flights to come see us, so why can’t they?

I don’t want to punish my dad, since he is a good grandfather, by moving. But we have no support system here in my home state, and tons where my husband lives.

I also want to eventually buy a home, settle down, and put our daughter in a good school, which I know we can do where my husband’s family lives.

So, AITA for thinking about relocating our family?

What’s best for your family is always a priority.

Let’s read what others have to say about this.

This user takes her side.

This makes sense.

Some wise advice.

Another sensible suggestion.

And lastly, people are calling out her family.

Forget the guilt-trip and find your “village.”

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.