When you are having a birthday part and one of the guests has a severe allergy to nuts, it makes sense to make sure nobody brings anything with nuts in it.

What would you do if one of your friends made you a cake that had nuts in it, but you found out about it before and told her not to bring it, but she got upset and said she wouldn’t come at all then?

That is what happened to the birthday girl in this story, and now she is worried that she may have been a jerk about it, but she wants to keep her other friend safe.

AITA for disinviting a friend to my birthday after she showed me the food she was bringing?

So, basically I (17f) am having my 18th at my house. It’s just a dinner with my closest friends.

Sounds like a good time.

I told everyone they may bring food if they like but I’m going to doing little cooking like some bbq food and then ordering pizza.

My guy friend (“Ryan”) asked if he can bring a mutual friend we have (“Emily”), since they’re dating now. I told him yea sure because he was gonna leave early anyway.

That’s nice of her.

She offered to make food and I told her that would be really nice but she didn’t have to. She insisted.

I made a group chat of people coming and I invited Emily to it. I sent a message talking about when to come, to wear whatever. An important thing in the message was about allergies.

Nut allergies can be deadly.

I have a friend coming with a really serious nut allergy. I’ve never seen them have a reaction but I’ve been told it gets pretty bad.

I wrote in the message to triple check your food doesn’t have nuts and to be aware of cross contaminating. Everyone read the message, some replied. Emily did a thumbs up on the message.

It is best to be careful.

Last night me and Emily were talking and she mentioned the food she made. I told her to show me a picture and it was a cake. The cake looked like something my mum had made before and it contained nuts.

I asked if it had nuts and she said yes but not a lot and my friend could just not eat the cake. I told her I’d rather she just didn’t bring it.

I get it is disappointing, but come on.

She then got mad and said she’d gone through the trouble of making the cake so she’s bringing it or she isn’t coming.

I told her then she’s not coming because I was clear about my friends allergy and even cross contaminating was asked to be checked, so why would I allow her to bring a whole cake?

It was disrespectful to not honor the requests of the birthday girl.

She said it was disrespectful to disinvite her and that she’s Ryan’s gf, if he’s going she’s going.

I told her no, it’s my party and I didn’t want her there anymore because she was acting like a child.

He will obviously take his girlfriend’s side.

She stopped texting me but then I got a call from Ryan saying I was being a massive jerk and she spent ages on the cake.

I said I don’t care if it took her two whole weeks to make the cake, I was specific from the beginning on what you could bring and couldn’t. The only thing you couldn’t bring was something with nuts.

Let’s see.

The parts where I’m talking to these two is where I may be TA.

I asked if she’s incompetent of reading and comprehension and if she really doesn’t know any other cake recipe. He said I was being a jerk and hung up on me.

Well, he isn’t being entirely honest.

Ryan is telling everyone him and Emily are not attending because I called them names and rejected Emily’s cake.

A lot of friends, mostly ones not coming to the party, are saying it was slack to let her make something and then uninvite her because of what she made and she put effort in that cake for MY birthday.

This is surprising.

There’s only three people saying I’m not an AH and one of them is my friend with the nut allergy.

My party is tomorrow and I kinda want perspective on this before then. AITA?

Many people don’t realize how serious nut allergies can be and how little exposure can be dangerous.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

I agree, tell them all the truth.

This commenter has a good idea.

Many people fail to realize this.

Yeah, I’d like to hear their answer.

Safety is way more important than feelings.

What kind of person would even want to bring the cake in this situation?

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.