Growing up bilingual in a Spanish-speaking household means a lot of things, and one of them is spending your entire childhood as your parents’ unofficial translator.

A woman who navigated two languages as a kid, got in trouble when she got it wrong, and carried the weight of that responsibility into adulthood finally hit her limit when she realized she’d spent years doing the exact same thing for her husband.

He’s been in an English-speaking state for five years and still relies on her and their oldest child to communicate for him. She told him she was done translating and left him off the invite list for a friend’s party.

But when her inner circle started calling her the bad guy, she started second guessing whether she made the right call.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITAH for telling my husband I’m not going to be his translator anymore.

Growing up in a Hispanic and Latin community where the majority of people spoke only Spanish was hard.

Both my sister and I had to learn English the hard way and ended up being translators for our parents.

This created lots of unexpected stressors.

It was a lot of pressure knowing two languages and being expected to speak both of them correctly.

We went everywhere with our parents in case they needed someone to translate.

Her parents weren’t exactly gentle with her about it.

If we said the wrong thing, we were in trouble, and if we didn’t know how to say something in either language, we were in trouble too.

My mom would say, “This is why you go to school, and you can’t even speak it right?”

She feels her mom never understood how difficult it was for her, so when she became a parent herself, she vowed to do better.

We were kids, children learning to navigate two worlds.

I get it now though — the benefits of knowing two languages.

I’m grateful now, but I know this isn’t what I want for my kids.

Well, in this Spanish world of ours I met my husband.

At first, everything was great.

He only knows Spanish and a few words in English, but not enough to hold a conversation or really read anything, though he can understand if you speak slowly.

Over the years of us being together I hardly ever had to translate for him because everyone around us spoke Spanish.

But then she found herself treading back into old territory.

But five years ago we moved to another state, to an area where there aren’t many Spanish speakers.

Over time I made friends and we’ve gone to dinners with them, but it’s never been enjoyable because I’m constantly going back and forth translating the conversation.

It’s started to seriously strain their social circle.

So we stopped going, because I got too tired of the awkwardness and the translating.

We don’t host friends at home for the same reason.

A few days ago a friend invited me to a party and movie night, adults only.

So she finally put her foot down with her husband.

My husband was excited, but I told him no, he wasn’t coming.

I hate starting conversations with “I’m sorry, but he doesn’t speak English, but I can translate,” because they say “it’s fine” and then walk away, or they stand there waiting on me to translate so they can follow along.

I just want to have a good time.

She thinks it’s high time for him to step up.

So I told my husband he needs to learn English.

Not just because he needs to, but because it’s beneficial to him, our children, and everyone who comes into contact with him.

She can’t help but feel déjà vu at times.

He’s even started asking our oldest to translate when I’ve told him not to do that.

We don’t really disagree or fight often, but whenever I bring up learning English he says, “Why do I need to learn? I get translators for appointments or I have you to help me. What’s the big deal?”

But I’m tired of it.

So I told him I’m not going to be his translator anymore.

But not everyone agreed with her decision.

Apparently, I’m the AH according to friends and family, with most saying, “It’s not that hard,” or “He didn’t grow up in the US,” or “You’re his wife, you need to help him.”

But they aren’t the ones who struggle.

So AITA?

She had a hard decision in front of her and she did the best she could.

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Redditors are sure to have some thoughts.

This user agrees it’s time for the husband to take on some of the mental labor.

Learning the language for himself really is the sensible thing to do.

There are plenty of ways to learn — he just has to want to.

If her husband doesn’t want to do it for her, he should do it for the benefit of their children.

Ultimately her husband had one reasonable thing to do in five years of living in an English-speaking state and that was to pick up enough of the language to take some of the pressure off his wife. But so far, that’s been an uphill battle.

This woman was self-aware enough to realize she was playing out a familiar script — one that was actually quite traumatizing. She’s been carrying the weight for far too long, and a good husband should want to take some of the load off.

Redditors also pointed out the implications not speaking the language might have on her children. At the end of the day, knowing both languages could help him be a better parent, especially in the case of an emergency.

Her husband doesn’t have to be perfect, but he does have to at least try to make an effort.

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