Man Wants To Honor His Beloved Grandfather With A Heartfelt Letter Instead Of Attending His Celebration Of Life Amid His Parents’ Bitter Divorce
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When a beloved family member passes away, you want to find some way to honor their memory.
What would you do, however, if your mother was planning a celebration of life ceremony with him, but she had been causing a lot of drama related to her divorce, so you didn’t think it would be a good idea to attend?
That is what the young man in this story is dealing with, so he wants to write out a heartfelt letter to his grandfather and have it displayed at the ceremony rather than attending himself.
While I think it would be ideal for him to attend in person, this is a great option if that just isn’t possible. Read through the full details below and see if you agree.
WIBTA if I left a message instead of attending my Grandpa’s celebration of life?
My Mother and Father are divorcing, and things have gotten pretty messy.
It is awful when a divorce turns ugly.
My Mother accused him of stalking and my sister(18F) “K” and I (22M)”P” had to go into court and give testimony. My Mother has been telling our other two siblings (13 and 10) that we went into court and lied to get her in trouble.
My Grandpa’s celebration of life is being organized by my Mother and will be at her house. I love my Grandpa dearly, but I don’t feel safe participating with my Mother and her circle there.
He doesn’t want to cause drama.
I also believe that she’s liable to start drama with me there, which could take away from the celebration of life. I think it’s better if I don’t go, so I plan on printing this message out and framing it for my 13 yo sibling to set up in the house.
I’m getting last minute doubts though, and I’m worried it might be selfish. It could be a problem with the message, so I’ll put it in here:
Let’s see what his letter says.
Dear Grandpa and Company,
I am very sorry to say I will not be able to make it to the celebration of life. Although I cannot make it, I still want to participate by sharing with everyone how Grandpa has made my childhood better. I’d love to go into more detail, but I’ll try to keep it compact so I don’t take up too much time.
This is a sweet letter.
In my eyes, Grandpa was the most important figure from my earliest memories to the time he moved out. In Washington, I have very fond memories of hanging out on the bed in his room; I remember being thrilled to ride in the front seat of his car with the windows down when I was too young to realize we never went far.
I remember him mowing the lawn in Illinois and letting me help by picking up sticks or even getting to steer in his lap. I remember playing cribbage with him and mom, especially getting our butts kicked, but having a good time.
Recalling happy memories is a great way to honor someone.
And from him, I got the story I tell all my friends of how he tricked me into eating the wax on truckles (Babybels) and kept doing it because it didn’t taste horrible enough to doubt him.
Even after he moved back to Ohio, I still was blessed with fun times with him. K and I were often excited to go spend time in his apartment, even if we were just watching kid shows with him on his little TV in the corner of his living room.
How could anyone have a problem with this letter?
I remember being happy just sitting on the steps talking to him while he has a smoke. Often, I’d go outside or arrive to see him walking the dogs and think “Grandpa!”
It was only a couple times, but I was really happy to go on flower deliveries with him. K and I also played with fireworks once behind his apartment, and the pictures we took are burned into my memory.
This is very heartwarming.
My favorite memories are probably the ones where he says just four words. I’m not the only grandson anymore, so I haven’t heard it in a while, but I hear his voice so clearly in my head saying, “There’s my favorite grandson!”
I’ve heard it so many times, I couldn’t get it out of my head if I tried. It might seem like a small gesture or just a typical joke, but it made me feel very loved by the man who I looked up to like a father.
I love you, Grandpa.
~~P
Honestly, I don’t see how anyone could get upset about this letter. Whether he should go to the funeral or not is really something he has to decide, but either way, this letter should be a welcome addition.
Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say.
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If it is at all possible, he should go to the celebration.
Here is someone who says the letter is good.
This commenter says that sending the letter is much safer.
The letter is very sweet.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who refuses to change her 4th of July traditions for her in-laws, sparking a family feud.
Here are some people who think he should go to the celebration of life.
He might regret it if he doesn’t go to the celebration of life. It is best to attend and just keep his distance from his mother, if that is at all possible.
If the situation makes it impossible, however, this letter could be comforting.
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