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Hiring a friend for childcare can get messy when discipline and payment aren’t clearly discussed.

One babysitter ignored the usual bedtime routine and separated an anxious eight-year-old from her sisters.

Instead of only ending the arrangement, the mother also refused to pay her for the entire night.

Now everyone thinks the other person crossed a line.

AITA for firing my babysitter

I’m a single mom to 3 girls, Sophie (2), Addie (4), and Evie (8). Their dad was in the military and passed when I was pregnant with Sophie.

I just got a new job that mostly aligns with the kids’ school/daycare schedule but I work late on Wednesday nights.

A friend of mine is going through a divorce and her ex-husband is being difficult about child support, so I asked her to babysit on Wednesday nights.

In my opinion, the job is pretty simple.

She made it as easy as possible.

She gets there at 6, dinner is at 6:30 (always mac and cheese. I make the sauce before she gets there so she just has to boil the pasta and add the sauce).

After dinner, they get to play until 7-7:15.

They each get a melatonin gummy, they watch Bluey until 7:30-7:45, then everyone uses the bathroom, brushes their teeth, and goes to bed.

All of the girls share a room, their pajamas and comfort items are laid out for them, and I have a stack of books out for bedtime stories.

Everyone gets tucked in, then sitter reads 3-4 stories until everyone’s asleep.

But there is one challenge.

Evie occasionally has a hard time falling asleep, so I told the sitter if she’s not asleep by the 4th story, sitting on her bed and rubbing her back tends to get her to sleep within a few minutes.

Sitter turns off the lights, turns on the night light and sound machine, and gets to hang out on the couch until I get home.

I have all 3 girls sharing a room for a reason. Evie has anxiety and is scared to sleep alone.

My younger two feel safer when their big sister is sleeping next to them.

Putting the three of them together is the best way to get everyone to sleep.

She knows she can get her own room whenever she wants but it’s not something I will force on her.

But her friend didn’t think that was good parenting.

Last Wednesday, I guess Evie wasn’t sleeping and kept insisting on more stories.

My friend told her to lie down quietly or sleep in the guest room and Evie started to cry.

My friend picked her up, put her in the guest room, and stayed in front of the door to the girls’ room to prevent her from going back to bed.

When I got home close to midnight, Evie was still awake and was crying her eyes out.

I didn’t find out what happened until the next morning.

She was livid.

When my friend confirmed what happened and called it discipline, I told her she wasn’t getting paid for that night and would no longer be taking care of my kids.

Now she’s saying I’m overreacting and my kids are spoiled and have behavior problems.

I have mutual friends saying I’m screwing her over, over a temper tantrum and saying the money I pay her is her entire grocery budget.

Now I’m wondering if not paying her for Wednesday and firing her was an overreaction.

AITA?

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A babysitter (or friend) should never force their methods on other people’s kids. But she did work.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this.

A reasonable take.

Simple like that.

Another person agrees.

Yikes.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a community who realizes their mistake after restricting parking to residents only gets guests and delivery drivers towed.

Another reader chimes in.

The babysitter was wrong to isolate a crying child and block her from returning to the shared bedroom.

The mother had every right to fire her, but she still should’ve paid for the hours already worked.

One bad bedtime somehow became a childcare payroll dispute.

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Author

Chris Allen