Parents would love to never have to take sides when it comes to their children, but sometimes there’s just no avoiding it.

OP has five children, one of whom is getting married. Her older two siblings are non-binary and gay, and have families of their own already.

I (56m) have 5 children. This is about 3 of them Casey (26f), Alex (31nb) and Tom (34m). The names are not their true names.

My daughter Casey is getting married this winter to her fiancé Max (27m)who she has been together with for about 4 years.

I am covering the majority of the wedding expenses as Max’s family lives in a different country and with the currency exchange rate they won’t be able to afford the wedding and both to come to the wedding.

I have no issues with it and just want my little girl to be happy.

OP is paying for the wedding, so when he found out that his daughter had not invited her “non-traditional” siblings to the wedding, he said he wouldn’t be attending or paying for the event.

Last week while Casey was away, my children Alex and Tom came to visit with their families and we were talking about wedding invitations. I was surprised to hear that they haven’t received their wedding invitations, so I just thought that Casey haven’t sent them out yet for everyone, until my oldest and youngest daughter’s pointed out they have received their invitations with their kids and partners invited.

I called my sister who also said Casey has invited their whole family to the wedding too and she received hers a while back, so I immediately saw red. Both Alex and Tom have husbands and have children (adopted) and it seemed Casey has excluded them because of their choices.

It also seemed weird since Casey has always been close to them and supported them when they came out as non binary and gay respectively.

I have called Casey and demanded an explanation. My daughter said that Max and his family don’t feel comfortable with couples that are not traditional and it goes against their culture and that she hopes for my understanding.

I have told her if that’s the case I will not be walking her down the isle and pull out from paying for her wedding, as she can not exclude her family like this when they did nothing wrong and if her future in laws opinion is so important to her, they can pay for the wedding.

His daughter is upset. His other kids are supportive.

As a result Casey has called me an asshole and hanged up crying.

My children are on my side, my wife is torn as she understands where Casey comes from but agrees she shouldn’t have excluded her siblings like this.

Does Reddit think the consequences are too harsh? I’m betting not!

The top comment agrees OP doesn’t have to pay for an event that excludes two of his children.

This person applauds OP’s parenting all the way around.

This commenter agrees OP wasn’t wrong, but worries there might be more going on with the daughter.

While this person thinks it could be more of a “supportive when convenient” situation.

Everyone agrees there is only one jerk here, and it’s not OP.

I feel so badly for her excluded siblings.

They must be feeling just awful about her change of heart – or lack of a spine.