Parenting has changed over the years as research continually reveals new techniques and strategies to best handle the growth and development of children, all while the world they’re growing up in is ever changing.

However, regardless of research, parents (and people) hold different belief systems, values, and resources making for different parenting styles.

This man took to Reddit to share his story as he could not disagree more with his brother’s parenting choices.

My niece Cheyenne has had issues since middle school and they have not stopped since she started ninth grade this year. The school has had to speak with Cheyenne about bullying other students and cheating on assignments.

My brother Matt and SIL Sofi are too soft on my niece. When she gets in trouble, they’ll basically tell her “Now, Cheyenne, that wasn’t nice but we know how hard it is to be a teenager so let’s get some ice cream.”

There’s no real consequences.

The reason they do this is because Sofi acted out as a teen. Her parents were strict and Sofi claims that being punished and seeing her parents disappointed made everything worse, so they don’t want to do that with Cheyenne.

While the uncle believes in being reasonable, he doesn’t believe in a lack of consequence.

Now I’m all for trying to reason with and hear out your kids instead of just going straight to punishment. But if your kid shows they aren’t taking the soft talks seriously, then that’s when you have to dish out some tough love with firm talks and hard consequences.

I can talk to my niece and her parents about her behavior, but anything more than that is sadly out of my power.

I’m writing because Cheyenne’s AVID program hosted a Disney trip to celebrate the end of finals and the start of Christmas break.

Matt begged me to pick Cheyenne up because she was caught shoplifting from a store and he and Sofi weren’t able to leave work.

As a punishment, the niece is not allowed at Disney again and she is on probation at her program.

I was informed when picking up my niece that she was not welcome back to the park and she was being placed on a form of probation in her AVID program.

Luckily, she has not gained any kind of criminal record.

Instead of being grateful for this, Matt and Sofi complained that adults should understand that breaking rules is a normal thing teens do because their brains are still developing. They went as far as to express this opinion online after the school informed them that my niece will not be allowed on any school trips for the foreseeable future.

Sofi called to tell me that people nowadays are selfish and nobody cares about each other anymore. Her reasoning was that the post got many views but few likes and comments.

She claimed kids are depressed and anxious because schools put too much pressure on them and don’t let kids be kids.

The man made an effort to remain Switzerland on it all but was poked and prodded for further commentary.

I made a neutral comment about being sorry to hear that. But then Sofi tried to call me out because I didn’t comment to show support for Cheyenne and called me selfish too.

I had enough and told Sofi that it just comes off as whiny for her and Matt to be blaming kids having depression and anxiety on schools for expecting them to behave themselves if they want to go on school trips.

Matt got on the phone to tell me off but I told them to stop expecting people to feel sorry for them.

They’re ruining their daughter’s future by being soft instead of dishing out some tough love.

They both told me I had no right to criticize them because I know nothing about parenting or how hard it is to be a teenager nowadays.

Readers of this story were quick to side with the writer.

One person had a whole list of reasons why the parents were making a mistake.

Another reader appreciated the writer’s honesty with his family.

 

And this person called the teenage niece a downright monster created by her parents lack of proper parenting.

Hopefully the family takes the man’s words to heart and do better moving forward.

If you thought that was an interesting read, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.