When an introverted woman marries into her spouse’s energetic, extroverted family, it’s like diving into scary and unfamiliar waters.

Her spouse’s family continues to push her to open up without honoring her preferences.

She’s left torn between gratitude for their welcome and the need to stay true to herself.

Read on for the full story!

AITA for asking my in-laws to respect my way of being the way that I respect theirs?

I did not grow up in a shiny, happy vacation family that ate dinner together and sang on car rides or anything.

I didn’t have cousin sleepovers, Christmas traditions or whatever. And because of that, I am a lot more quiet, internal, etc than my spouse’s family.

They are the polar opposite.

She describes their lively home life.

People stop by their home unannounced and they’re welcomed with open arms.

There are so many kids running around all the time laughing and playing and the adults watching them warmly with love.

They all share secrets and stories and are very huggy and all that.

Things were great at first, but her relationship with her in-laws begins to sour.

And they’ve been super welcoming to me, but have started to be very pushy when it comes to some things.

For example, at a dinner recently, one of the kids wanted to show us the song she learned.

Everyone sang along together. I sat quietly and listened. Spouse’s aunt kept elbowing me to join in.

I smiled and clapped for her, but did not sing.

She describes another instance.

That same day, one of the younger kids was going around hugging everyone goodbye. I stooped down and gave her a high five and she toddled off.

The mom told me that was weird and to just hug the kid.

Well, a bunch of the women my age were planning a girls-only camping trip and talking all about all the fun and girly things they want to do, all of the bonding experiences they wanted.

I am not interested, so I declined politely but did say they could use our camping supplies.

Her family couldn’t take no for an answer.

The organizer got frustrated and roped in my MIL, both of them teamed up on me that they’re trying on their end to get me to open up and be part of the family more.

I said that was so nice of them, but that I have opened up a LOT and they need to understand that it all goes two ways.

She thinks she’s done more than enough to meet them halfway.

I have given in so much and they know a lot more than I ever wanted. I’ve done a lot of things with group events, one-on-ones, shopping, getting hair done, wedding stuff, etc.

I would have preferred strongly to just not do any of it, but I knew it was a give and take thing and challenged myself to open up.

I explained this and said I appreciate them and I know it’s difficult for them, but reminded them that it’s difficult for me as well.

She’s putting in the internal work and received validation from her husband.

I’m trying as hard as I can. My therapist and I work on this all the time.

This really bothered my MIL and she went to my husband to complain.

He defended me and told her that I’ve done nothing wrong. He reiterated this to me as well and said that he thinks I have done a LOT more than he expected me to and he’s proud of me.

But that still wasn’t enough.

But it didn’t sit well with MIL, who reached out to tell me that she was upset that after 8 years, I still treat them like we aren’t family.

But to me, I do treat them as family.

AITA?

It seems like the woman’s mother-in-law refuses to acknowledge that it is indeed a two-way street.

Let’s see what Reddit had to say.

This user believes the woman’s in-laws should be more accommodating.

Everyone has a different way of showing their love and her family should be more understanding of that.

If her husband is satisfied with her efforts, her MIL should see that too.

A fellow introvert empathizes with her.

Despite her valiant efforts to connect, different personalities may always divide this family.

Her way of showing love is just as valid, even if it looks different from theirs.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.