A lot of times bridesmaids and groomsmen don’t get a choice in what they wear to a wedding. The bride and groom decide.

In today’s story, one groomsman hates his outfit so much he might not go to the wedding.

Let’s see why he hates the outfit…

AITA for refusing to go to my friends’ wedding at last minute if they don’t change the groomsman’s outfit?

I (20M) got invited to be a groomsman in my close friends’ (24M/23F) wedding and was elated.

My friends are both fashion designers (more artistic photoshoots than commercial), so they said they were going to design all of the outfits to suit the person wearing and asked me if I’d be down.

I said I’d absolutely love it, and to feel free to do whatever – but I did say that in the context of capes or high boots. Also, on-season me is a vain idiot who’s far too comfortable with his looks.

OP finally learned what his outfit looks like.

The summer passed and they talked about a few of the outfits, but were keeping most of them secret until the fall. Cool.

Friday, they finally sent out the info to make sure everyone knew what they were wearing. I love the design of mine, except for one detail.

They didn’t give me a shirt.

OP told his friends his concerns.

So, for context, I’m a photography and swimsuit model. People do take pictures of me shirtless a lot. But fall is my off season, and I’m not in good condition right now.

I don’t think I’m overweight or anything, but I don’t look good, and I would really like to wear clothes right now.

I told them basically that – that this looked a little cool for a fall wedding and I wasn’t in great shape to wear it.

The friends are insisting they don’t want to change the design.

They said it’d be fine and I should just go for it, and told me about how much work they had put into designing it.

I told them again that I just don’t feel alright wearing it – reality doesn’t work like staged photoshoots, my abs look awful, and since I’m the only one that doesn’t have a real shirt at all it feels… uncomfortably sexual.

They got kind of mad and said that if I was so flustered by my weight I should go on a diet.

The phone call didn’t end well.

I told them I’m not a stripper and hung up.

Yeah, mature, I know.

(They did text me after to apologize for the diet comment, and I apologize for the stripper comment.)

If OP changes his outfit it will mess up a bridesmaid’s outfit.

The other problem is that apparently they’ve designed the bridesmaid’s and groomsmen’s outfits in pairs.

Viola is wearing something designed to be balanced with mine. She gets a shirt, of course, but it was designed to go with mine and she’s super into her outfit and seamed pretty upset when I said I was trying to get mine changed.

I get throwing a shirt or vest of waistcoat or something will ‘throw off the composition’ and they’ve only got three weeks to plan and make it, but at this point I just don’t care.

But Viola’s awesome and looked genuinely deeply upset, and she wasn’t the one who decided to plan this, so I feel awful about how it’d affect her if I drop or refuse the outfit.

OP doesn’t want to wear the outfit but thinks he might be overreacting.

I aslo know they put a lot of work into this and probably aren’t trying to be remotely creepy, so I don’t know why I’m reacting this bad.

I’m just hurt they didn’t care more about me than about their designs, but at the same time, I’m being irrational and those outfit definitely took months to plan and sew.

Help.

Without seeing the design, it’s hard to know if this is possible, but couldn’t he just wear a shirt under whatever it is they designed?

Let’s see how Reddit responded…

This reader doesn’t see why he couldn’t wear a shirt.

Another reader suggests a “compromise.”

This person thinks OP’s request is reasonable.

Another person thinks it would be different if a woman complained.

This reader points out the real problem…

Surely there has to be a compromise.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.