Building a sustainable marriage isn’t a piece of cake! It takes a lot of communication and compromise.

This woman knows what she wants her husband to stop doing in order to make their marriage work, but she’s wondering if her request is unreasonable.

Find out what she wants and why she wants it.

AITA for asking my husband to stop funding his side of the family?

My husband (30M) and I (30F) have been married since 2021, dated since 2019.

He is a very sweet man and always ready to help.

He is the middle child of two other brothers(32 & 25).

They’ve given it their all to build the life they have!

My husband and I have worked very hard to get what we have and be where we are today.

His father passed away earlier this year and we paid for funeral services without asking for or expecting anything in return.

Her brother-in-laws aren’t in a good financial situation.

His older brother has a part time job that does not have reliable or consistent hours. He works for a friend getting paid cash under the table.

He sometimes doesn’t work for weeks at a time, but may one work one or two days at a time.

His younger brother is recovering from a drug addiction and has been clean for about 6 months. He got into a bad car wreck about a year ago and uses this as an excuse for everything.

Neither will find steady work and have been without a paycheck for about two months now.

When we mentioned a local job listing, they acted like the job was below them (although they aren’t working).

The family is just very problematic…

Here’s the problem.

They both are living with my husband’s mom but neither of them are working.

My MIL is on a set income of about 1200-1300$/month and she struggles sometimes, even with both sons in the house.

No food in the house, no propane to heat it.

They all have bad spending habits (alcohol, tobacco, lotto, marijuana, not good at budgeting) and my husband has changed 180 his spending habits and budgeting since we have gotten together.

This is where it got really bad…

After we visited for thanksgiving we had a serious talk about helping them monetarily.

I told my husband that I can’t see myself having children with him while he is continuing to fund his old family and not supporting the future of our future family.

The argument got a little heated and I feel bad because they do struggle and I would hate to be the reason they go hungry or are struggling more than need be.

She had done her research!

I looked at bank statements, and in total his family has received over 5000$ and offered to pay back 0 this year alone.

I told him I don’t mind helping his mom when she needs it, but she never puts her foot down when it comes to giving the money to the other two mooching sons who refuse to get a steady job, and they keep asking for more and more money. (300$ thanksgiving weekend alone).

She knows they can support themselves…

They are able bodied men who can but won’t find a job.

Am I the AH for asking him to basically cut off the donations to his side of the family to focus on our future family’s needs?

She seems extremely frustrated with her in-laws, and she has very good reasons to feel this way.

Let’s find out what The Reddit community has to say about this one.

That’s right! This user has great banking advice for this couple.

Exactly! This user knows the husband needs to stop supporting his family.

This user thinks that the husband’s family is being very unreasonable.

This user knows how hard a relationship gets when finances get involved.

This user knows that her current financial arrangement will surely affect her in the future.

Her husband needs to stop enabling his brothers.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.