Gifts are usually cause for appreciation, but what happens when appreciation is nowhere to be found?

After years of enduring disrespect from her teenage nephew, an aunt decided that this year, her presence, not presents, would have to be enough. But when her nephew makes a fuss, she starts second-guessing whether she made the right call.

Read on for the full story!

AITA for not getting my nephew a birthday gift?

My nephew turned 13 today, and after his birthday party, when I was saying goodnight, he asked me if I got him anything for his birthday.

That got me thinking about why I didn’t and if I’m possibly in the wrong here.

The two seem to have a good relationship by all accounts.

For context, we live together, and while I love sharing a home with my sister and brother-in-law, we have all discussed how my nephew’s temperament, blatant disrespect, and behavior are the only things that cause tension and aren’t harmonious.

I love him to death.

I pick him up from school every day, I play with him, and I engage as a loving aunt and friend.

However, there are some glaring issues that have been weighing heavy on her mind.

But we constantly run into issues such as him bullying my children, showing no appreciation or respect whatsoever, and being genuinely hateful more often than not.

For my own birthday in December, which was literally a celebration from midnight to midnight in my family’s true fashion, he didn’t tell me happy birthday or acknowledge me in any sweet way once.

He even became angry and even more hostile once his parents brought this up.

She was hurt by this behavior, even though she tries to justify where he must be coming from.

He never said happy birthday to me — his only aunt — and that definitely hurt.

It spoke volumes to me about how little he seems to care about me.

Yes, he’s a child, and teenagers can be distant and rude at times. But every child and teenager in my life freely shows me love and care, so I don’t understand or tolerate how dead set he is on hurting me and negatively affecting me and my children on a daily basis.

Besides, she feels like he got more than enough gifts for his birthday anyway.

All he asked for on his birthday was money, and he got over $400 today alone.

I’m happy for him, but I truly did not want to contribute to his birthday aside from the genuine moments of celebration, decorating for his surprise party, and the love I gave him.

I’m sure it was hurtful and alarming that I didn’t give him anything but my time, affection, and service setting up his party.

But that’s more than I even felt I could give, all things considered.

While she does love him, love has been eclipsed by more negative emotions as of late.

My impression, knowing him to the capacity that I do after raising him with my own children these last 13 years, is that while he is hilarious, charismatic, and charming, his overwhelming aura has become very entitled, selfish, careless, hostile, and arrogant.

It’s a hard thing to say about a child, but it’s real, and his parents share the same feelings — we talk about it almost daily.

I just want to know AITA here, or is gift-giving (money handouts in this case) as a very present, live-in aunt the obvious choice?

It sounds like this situation is a classic example of simply matching someone’s energy.

Let’s see what Reddit had to say.

He may only be 13, but he’s going to have to learn sooner or later that what goes around, comes around.

To this Redditor it sounds like the parents and the aunt are missing several important “teaching moments”.

This user concurs.

This commenter has a different way of looking at things.

Whether he learns from this lesson is entirely up to him.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.