Health challenges can put a strain on even the most understanding relationships.

As one woman’s boyfriend battles severe contamination OCD, one woman faces an impossible choice: bend to his compulsions or protect her own autonomy.

Read on for the full story.

AITA for not accommodating my boyfriend’s OCD?

My (23F) boyfriend (21M) has been diagnosed with severe contamination OCD, so he manifests his symptoms in an extreme manner.

Whenever something is dirty to him, he proceeds to wash it with soap and water, even if it is an electronic, like his phone, for example.

Otherwise, he would either have an anxiety attack while using it or discard it.

He’s made some improvements, but she’s still concerned by his demands for accommodations.

He has found techniques to avoid washing as much, such as putting his phone in a ziplock bag to avoid getting it “dirty”.

I have always been fine with him having the condition.

However, what I have always found strange about his specific case is that he expects people to accommodate for his OCD, especially his partner, as they would be having physical contact with him.

This has led her to have to make some pretty big adjustments.

For instance, if one of my belongings is perceived as dirty to him, he would demand me to wash it or that he won’t touch me. It is even to the extent of me being required to detail my car every time it gets “dirty”.

I did not think too much of this in the beginning, as I thought it was a sign of care for doing those things to comfort him or even as a way to supposedly help with his OCD symptoms.

However, I started to get more and more fed up as time went on, as it felt very draining, and that my autonomy was somewhat impaired for having my life revolve around his compulsions.

She sought outside perspectives to try and wrap her head around the situation.

I have brought this up with my therapist, and she has noted that this is not a way to treat OCD by catering to the compulsions, and that the OCD will remain the same, if not worsen.

Even my friends have taken note of this, including those with OCD as well.

He has recently been trying to get better by doing his own exposure therapy, which is honestly really good.

But there’s still a lot of progress to be made.

However, he still expects certain accommodations from me, such as putting my phone in a bag or making me get a “dirty” laptop from home rather than my own “clean” one, for instance.

As I started to get more and more fed up with the accommodations, I thought this was all extreme, and I proceeded to bring my own laptop.

He reacted poorly, but not as poorly as he would earlier in their relationship.

He initially freaked out a little, but he wasn’t as reactive at the time as he once was at the peak of his condition, where he’d have full-blown anxiety attacks and also get mad at me.

His reaction was generally okay, until the next day, when he sent me texts upon texts about how he didn’t appreciate me not telling him beforehand about me not telling him about getting my “clean” laptop.

This has put an even bigger strain on their relationship.

He also said that I’m not at all considerate of his OCD by forgetting to do certain things for him (I do try my best, and my own ADHD doesn’t help with this sometimes), and how I generally let him down, and that breaking up would “grant him peace”.

She contemplates just how far she should go to support him without sacrificing too much.

I personally thought this was all insane to me that he tries to control my own belongings and what I should and should not bring, although I do worry I may be inconsiderate to his needs or that I don’t fully understand where he’s coming from.

AITA?

She’s really caught between a rock and a hard place here.

Let’s see what Reddit thought.

This user thinks her boyfriend’s diagnosis could be refined.

Someone else with OCD chimes in with their two cents.

The onus is on him alone to manage his condition while not hurting others around him.

Maybe the writing is on the wall for this relationship.

Supporting your partner should never mean losing yourself in the process.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.