Some fights aren’t about pets, they’re about power.

What would you do if your partner demanded you give up your cats, even though you’ve raised them together since the beginning of your relationship? Would you agree to keep the peace? Or would you stand your ground and refuse because they are family?

In the following story, one woman finds herself dealing with this exact situation. Here’s what happened.

AITA for refusing to get rid of my cats.

I F(30) have been married to my husband M(36) for 7 years. We’ve been together for 9. We met in college as classmates (it was his second bachelor’s, hence the age difference) and started dating after knowing each other for about a year.

In the first year of our relationship, we took a cat together (his idea), as I have always had cats, I was on board.

Well, I got accidentally pregnant when I was 23.

We were due to have a baby, so we decided to take on a second cat (my idea) to keep the first one company since we might have a bit less attention for it with a new baby. I’ve read research that states it’s better to have two cats than one for their mental health.

The cats have been causing a bit of trouble.

We had our baby, and now here we are, another 2.5 years later. We both work almost full time, with one day a week extra free to spend with our children, and so life is rather busy with work, household tasks, and taking care of our babies.

Here comes the issue: my husband wants to get rid of the cats.

I love my cats, and I cannot fathom giving them away. Additionally, I come from a culture that sees pets as family, and for it to be a big shame to abandon your pets; my husband comes from a different culture.

Admittedly, the cats did cause us some nasty trouble that led up to this, like they’ve been urinating on the couch in the past, but this problem seems solved now as they don’t do this anymore unless something really upsets them, such as us going on a holiday, when they seem to have a bit of a relapse.

If it’s not one complaint, it’s another with her husband.

The couch is covered by a waterproof cover to mitigate this problem and make clean-up easier.

I have repeatedly refused to get rid of the cats, and each time, issues come up with how they bother my husband, with him saying he does not want them anymore, causing us to fight, and him even saying he might leave if this continues.

One common one, for example, is him complaining about the cat meowing at the door of the garden at night to get in. We go around in circles here since we have made an agreement a long time ago that the cats would not be allowed out at night, as they make so much noise and bother us and the neighbors.

My husband goes out to the garden to smoke, and they sneak out with him, however. He then proceeds to be awakened by the meowing, gets angry, and expects me to open the door for them.

Now, they can’t see eye-to-eye and keep fighting.

I proceed to say it’s his responsibility as he let them out.

He says he will not be watching the cats not to get out, as that is too much for him, and he wants to be able to go outside comfortably, and if I want the cats, I should take responsibility for this and go open the door for them each time.

He says I don’t respect him, and he also mentions the term “challenging him”, which I think is rather toxic.

I say he’s the one who doesn’t respect me (and the cats), and even a roommate could watch for them not to go out when they open the door.

She’s really sick of fighting.

I am exhausted with us fighting about this.

I have been in a burnout not too long ago, and I am afraid I will get back to this again with these awful fights where we just talk in circles and don’t come to a conclusion.

AITA?

Wow! This sounds like a pretty bad situation.

Let’s see if the people over at Reddit have any advice to offer.

This lady couldn’t love a man who didn’t love cats.

Here’s someone who sees pets as family.

As this person suggests, there may be more going on here.

This person is full of great advice.

Her husband needs to back off.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.