Balancing family obligations with your own needs is hard enough without someone else moving the goalposts.

One young woman planned her birthday escape weeks in advance, but one last-minute dinner for her boyfriend turned it into an all-out drama. And somehow, she ended up cast as the villain.

Read on for the full story!

AITAH for refusing to cancel my birthday trip because my boyfriend’s mom planned a family dinner the same day?

I (20F) planned a weekend getaway with two close friends for my birthday. I’ve had a rough year, and this trip was something I really looked forward to.

It’s nothing wild. Just a cabin, some wine, and hiking.

She let everyone know her plans in advance.

I booked it over a month ago and told my boyfriend (23M) right away. He said it sounded fun and was happy for me.

But that didn’t prevent everyone from promptly disregarding them.

A few days ago, his mom decided to host a family dinner on the same weekend.

She didn’t ask about our plans, just texted the whole family like, “Dinner at our place Saturday night. Everyone expected!”

Then her boyfriend made a pretty unreasonable request.

My boyfriend asked if I could cancel the trip or at least come back early so I could attend.

I told him no. It’s my birthday, I made the plans first, and I wasn’t going to cut it short for something his mom planned last minute.

Now suddenly she was the victim.

He got really quiet and said I was being “disrespectful to his family” and “choosing friends over people who really care.”

Now he’s distant, and his sister texted me something like, “It’s not that hard to show up for family.”

She doesn’t understand how she’s being painted in such a poor light now.

I don’t hate his family at all. But this felt unfair.

AITAH for sticking to my birthday plans?

Who knew prioritizing your commitments could be so controversial.

What did Reddit have to say?

This commenter thinks they should refuse to give in to this blatant guilt trip.

Her boyfriend clearly dropped the ball on communication.

Dating someone shouldn’t mean giving up your independence.

What kind of person treats invitations this way?

Her birthday trip was supposed to be a breath of fresh air, not a source of fresh conflict.

Self-care should never be mistaken for self-centeredness.

Thought that was satisfying? Check out what this employee did when their manager refused to pay for their time while they were traveling for business.