It’s hard to feel generous when the people you help always seem to disappear during the good times.

What would you do if your family relied on you for support, comfort, and housing, only to repeatedly leave you out of the celebrations and reunions?

Would you keep showing up with open arms?

Or would you finally decide to close your home?

In the following story, one woman reaches her breaking point after years of helping relatives who never return the gesture.

Here’s the full scoop:

AITA for not helping some of my family after they exclude us from their celebrations/reunions

Hi, I come from a large family, 9 aunts and uncles, half of whom are in the US starting from the 70s, and 1/2 stayed in the Middle East.

I was born in the US.

When they come for their green cards, vacations, illness/births, we’re always here with our homes open for them.

We have hosted one aunt and her daughters for about a month each year for over 20 years, and one of her daughters lived with us til they established themselves in the US.

We also go down to visit every few years and see them often.

Earlier this year, my uncle passed, and prior to that, his wife was staying in our home.

We took care of her, did all her paperwork, helped find a new job, and when he died, my mom flew out and is still with her, comforting her.

It’s been 3 months.

Two days ago, I found out that over the Easter weekend, his daughter, who was very comfortable calling me when I was helping her mom, got all the family that grew up in the Middle East (the kids of three aunts) together for a little reunion and spent the week with them.

They went out and explored.

Here’s where the real problem lies.

Mind you, I just graduated from college and am waiting to start a job in May, so they know I’m off and alone.

I just feel used, like we’re only for the dirty work, but on happy occasions, we’re forgotten.

This has been a pattern with them.

Their babies’ baptisms, parties, and even weddings are a last-minute invitation.

We’re always here for help in the US, but now that they’ve made it, they’ve built this close-knit, closed-off circle just for them, excluding the US family.

Now their mom, my aunt, wants to stay with us in the US til she finds a new home.

Probably a year.

She doesn’t want to stay with her kids, she says “they’re busy and need to focus on their own lives.”

I don’t feel very comfortable hosting her with a clean heart.

I told my mom No, she should go to her daughter or son.

And she agrees. We’re a closed house.

AITA?

Yikes! It sounds like everyone needs to get on the same page.

Let’s see what the folks over at Reddit have to say.

This person thinks it’s time she and her mother take a break.

Here’s a good point.

As this person points out, she’s entitled to protect her peace.

It does seem like their home is treated like a hotel.

They need to protect their boundaries.

It’s clear that the family is using them in times of need, so it’s time to show them exactly how much they have to lose.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.