Giving gifts as an adult can be a weird experience.

Sometimes it can feel like you’re just sort of symbolically trading money around.

But, as they say, it’s the thought that counts.

Though maybe it’s really the effort.

AITA if I refuse to buy presents on other people’s behalf?

It’s my daughter’s birthday coming up.

For her birthday, and Christmas last year, I’ve provided lists and photos with ideas for what to get my daughter because they ask for ideas as they don’t know what to get.

I include prices of varying degrees because I don’t know their budgets, and where to get them from.

I also say it doesn’t have to be from the shop I chose, if they want to look for similar things elsewhere.

As an uncle to five nieces, these gift guides are appreciated.

I provide those ideas to both of my brothers, my mum, and my ex (my daughter’s dad).

My brothers choose something not in the list, but that my daughter likes.

I appreciate the effort they put in especially when they don’t see her often because of distance.

But both my mum and my ex, instead of just choosing something and telling me what they got (so I don’t get it too) they ask me to just pick something and they’ll give me the money.

I ask how much they want to spend etc. and never really get an answer.

It’s about the connection, really.

Eventually I just pick something and they’re okay with that, and I make sure they get the credit and “thank you” from my daughter.

Except, I’m resenting that they’re not putting in any effort.

My ex doesn’t have 50/50 custody because he doesn’t have space for her to stay with him or time with his altering shift pattern.

My mum works part time.

AITA if I refuse because I hate the extra effort that I have to put in on their behalf?

These are the 2 people who are closest to her besides myself.

Let’s see what the comments make of this:

What’s up with the ex?

Gotta give ’em the talk:

This kind of thing comes up a lot:

Personally, I don’t really get it.

After all, ’tis better to give than to receive!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.