A vow renewal can happen for all sorts of reasons – perhaps most often because the first time around wasn’t quite what the couple would have wanted.

It’s a very personal thing, which is why is gets weird when others get involved.

If your family tried to interfere with your plans for a vow renewal ceremony, would you listen to them or insist on doing things your way?

Let’s see how this woman handles it.

WIBTAH for canceling my vow renewal ceremony and going more private?

I(35f) and my husband(35m) were teens when we met.

We were planning a wedding, and at 19yrs old, I became pregnant.

At the time, we lived with my dad and he threatened to kick us out if we didn’t get married asap.

This is after I bought the dress and all that but it was still a courthouse wedding.

Fifteen years later, she finally wants to have a party to celebrate their marriage.

We are coming up on our 15yrs married this year and I wanted to have a little event at our new property to celebrate it.

I announced that we were planning for Halloween (we are goth/witchy) back in January.

My sister (30f) and her husband had their vow renewal last weekend (3yrs married).

It was beautiful and sweet, I’m happy for her.

However, She has assumed the role of wedding planner for my vow renewal.

And that’s where things started to get tense.

So far she has suggested I change the date to something more suitable for our dad.

My dad and his wife moved 3hrs away where it snows all the time, she’s suggested I use her house for the venue, and even sending me dresses she thinks I should wear…

She has told me “this isn’t about you, it’s about being considerate of others.”

Me in all my stubborn glory said “You know what, you’re right, it’s not about me, it’s about Dad, so I’ll just do something more private and intimate with 2 close friends instead.”

Sounds kinda nice?

Now, the idea of going somewhere random into the woods with 2-3 friends, getting all dressed up and doing a small ceremony sounds AMAZING and less drama.

So, WIBTAH if I cancelled it all and had the fall/halloween theme in the woods without telling anyone else?

Her family keeps bullying her out of having the wedding ceremony of her dreams. This time, she should do it her way.

Let’s check in with the comments on Reddit:

It’s all how you look at it.

Some folks were pretty blunt.

Others were VERY blunt.

The whole idea here is to have a day that means something to you.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.