Honoring a loved one’s final wishes should be straightforward, but grief and family tensions can complicate even the simplest plans.

What would you do if a parent’s clear instructions were being challenged by relatives who now wanted to divide the ashes differently? Would you agree so you don’t have to keep talking to them? Or would you refuse and respect your parents’ wishes?

In the following story, one person finds themselves dealing with this exact situation and doesn’t want to share. Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for refusing to share my half of my dad’s ashes with my half siblings?

My dad died recently, and he appointed his brother, who is my uncle, to ensure his final wishes were respected. Dad was married twice. Once to my mom, who died when I was 3. And then with his widow, who he married when I was 15.

Dad’s second wife and I never got along, and the arrival of their children did nothing to change that. Dad and I had a solid relationship, but she and I did not, and I really never had one with the other kids either.

His wishes were for half his ashes to go to his wife so she could start a grave for them, and the other half was for me, so he could also be with Mom. My mom was cremated, too, and I have her ashes as well.

Her stepmother was not happy about his last wishes.

Wife number two was not happy about those wishes, and she tried to keep them all. But my dad had planned everything and had legally ensured his wishes were followed with the help of my uncle.

I went no contact once the funeral was over.

Only she does not get the no contact part and has contacted me at least 11 times now, saying I need to share my half of the ashes with my half-siblings because they have none, and we each have half.

Now, people have different ideas of what should happen.

I blocked her after the first message, but every time she texts, it’s from a different number, and I don’t even need to ask if it’s her because nobody else would text randomly about ashes like that. I am trying to get my number changed, but I use this phone for work too, so I need a process of approval to do it.

My aunt, dad’s sister, suggested we combine dad’s ashes and split them four ways so everyone gets the same amount, and when I said no, she told me that I shouldn’t take my hatred of wife number two out on the kids more than I have.

She said that because I went no contact and have no intention of having a relationship with them, which my aunt disagrees with.

AITA?

Wow! That sounds like a pretty stressful situation.

Let’s see what the folks over at Reddit have to say about it.

This is a great way to handle it.

As this reader points out, she can do what she wants with her half.

According to this person, his wishes were carried out, and it’s over.

Excellent way to look at it.

What’s done is done. The stepmother has no legal right to the ashes and needs to let it go.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.