When you get devastating health news about a loved one, you want to be comforted by your spouse.

What would you do if you told your husband that your mother has cancer, and he wasn’t supportive or there for you at all, but actually seemed upset with you about it?

That is the situation the wife in this story is facing, and she has no idea how to react or what she might have done wrong.

Check it out.

AITAH for going to bed after my husband was dismissive?

My husband (41M) and I (32F) have been together ten years.

A shed can be a great improvement to the home.

Tonight we were talking about wanting a shed in the yard for storage and office space.

He’s been wanting to clean out the garage so he can build shelves and a workshop. He’s been talking about this for two years.

He’s asked me to go through things of mine which I am happy to do, but I can’t get to them myself.

I’m only 5ft tall.

So, I said I would need him to get some of it down so I could go through it.

He’s 6’4” and is much stronger and able to get the heavy Rubbermaid’s down no problem.

Something is going on here.

I did mention that he also needs to go through his things too if he wants more space.

When I told him this he said “understood.”

I thought his demeanor changed slightly. Like he was being short and dismissive.

I even asked if he was okay and he said he was fine.

I was in kind of funk already due to news that I had received that day, so I chalked it up to just me overthinking things.

Which brings me to the main point of my post.

This is terrible news.

I found out today that my mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

I am extremely close to my mom, and my husband enjoys my parents.

He is not close to his parents so he has always been happy that my mine are so involved.

This news about my mom was obviously concerning and upsetting for me, and I was feeling like I needed some emotional support.

I just wasn’t sure how to bring it up.

I’d held it in all day and couldn’t keep it in any longer.

I let some time pass after the shed/garage conversation and I said I needed to tell him something since our daughter was finally asleep in her room.

This is a lot to take in, even if it isn’t his biological mother.

I went on to explain the news and he said nothing.

Just sat with his arms crossed as I explained all about the diagnosis and how my mom was feeling.

The most he said was “uh huh.”

Didn’t look at me or anything. Just stared straight ahead unbothered.

I didn’t really know what to do or how to react to his apathetic behavior.

I waited for any kind of response and it never came.

Ok, I guess he didn’t want to talk about it.

After some more silence I changed the subject asking if he wanted to watch a movie.

He shrugged saying I could pick something.

I landed on a movie on the screen, he said he’d seen it already and it wasn’t good.

So, I put on a comedy special for a comedian I knew he liked.

I tried to make conversation and he fell asleep about five minutes into the show, while I was talking.

I was hurt at this point and feeling really dismissed.

I got more of a response when I asked him about a movie than when I shared the news about my mom.

So, I got up to go to bed.

He stirred a bit and said his back hurt then laid flat on the couch.

I asked him to come lay down in the room and he said no it’s okay.

This does seem immature, he should have been more supportive.

He does this sometimes when he’s mad.

It’s really immature and I’ve talked to him about it in the past telling him that I feel it’s manipulative.

But tonight I just didn’t have the energy to say anything.

I knew it would lead to an argument about the same thing he brings up every time.

Which is him saying that I “make him sleep on the couch.”

When I’ve never made him sleep on the couch ever.

It’s always a choice he makes.

Now I’m wondering what I did wrong here to make him do this?

And I’m dreading how he will behave in the morning.

Will he be sulky or snappy?

Or act like nothing happened?

Unless there is more to the story, he is way out of line.

So, am I the jerk here? Am I missing something?

What did I do?

I genuinely can’t make sense of this.

I feel like I have emotional whiplash or I’m taking crazy pills.

Help please.

It seems like there must be more to the story, or maybe the husband is going through something difficult that she doesn’t know about yet.

Hopefully the people in the comments can offer some helpful insights.

He is being manipulative.

He does sound like a baby.

Oh, I didn’t even notice that age gap.

This commenter says he is stonewalling her.

This person says to demand empathy.

This guy is sulking for no reason, and at the worst possible time.

He needs to put his petty needs aside and support his wife during this difficult time.

There may be more to this story than is written, but there is no excuse for not supporting your spouse in this situation.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.