After a rocky start in life, this teen was raised by her aunt—now her adoptive mom—while her birth parents failed to provide a stable home.

Despite occasional visits from her birth mom, the bond never truly formed.

When she gently explained why she doesn’t feel right calling her “Mom,” things got emotional.

Read on for the story.

AITA for telling my bio mom I don’t want to call her mom?

For some context when I was born I lived with my BM (bio mom) and BD (bio dad) but that living situation was unfit and CPS was called.

Around my first birthday my aunt/AM (adoptive mom) took me in.

It was supposed to be temporary until BM and BD could get their life together, but they didn’t, and when they requested me back, they were in worse living conditions.

Yikes.

My aunt and uncle decided to go to court for custody, which they won.

But they never forced me to call them mom or dad, but eventually I started too.

My AM and AD ended up divorcing when I was five and I’ve lived with my AM for basically my whole life, always stressed out when BM visits or we go to visit BM which gives me a lot of stress.

So I finally decided to tell her how I feel and that I didn’t want to call her my mom because that wasn’t who she was to me, and she was very upset with this revelation.

Oh boy.

I put it very gently, and I was trying to be honest with her because she does matter.

So am I the AITA?

Honesty can hurt, but this teen wasn’t cruel—just clear about where her loyalty and love really live.

A title doesn’t define a relationship, especially when someone else earned it.

Most people say NTA.

This person says if she wanted to be called Mom she should’ve acted like Mom.

This person reiterates the same thought.

She didn’t reject a mother—she honored the one who showed up.

End of story.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.