In some bird species, the males build and decorate the nest in order to impress the female. If she’s impressed, she’ll happily move in.

Of course, with humans, it’s not that simple.

Social norms may get in the way, as happened in this case when a friend complimented this couple’s decorated apartment and assumed the fiancée did everything on her own.

But it was the fiancé who did the decor, and he was upset that his work wasn’t recognized. Now he’s wondering if he overreacted.

Read the story and see how everything played out.

AITA for telling my fiancé she’s taking me for granted?

(M29) and my fiancé (F27) recently moved into our new apartment two months ago.

Leading up to the move-in date I was very excited for us to have a place we can call home.

Knowing that I have a passion for interior design, she enthusiastically allowed me take the lead with how we wanted the apartment to look, with her signing off on it of course.

I spent a couple weeks going to stores, purchasing paintings, art pieces, furniture sets, cutlery, plates, bowls etc.

Sounds super fun for people who are into interior design. But it is a lot of work.

When we agreed on a color for the apartment, I painted the living room and dinning room area.

She was busy with her schooling and couldn’t find the time to help out as much but I was content with doing it myself while she focused on her assignments.

After two months we were happy with the progress we made and thought it would be a good time to invite her friend over to see it.

It would be the ideal time for his lady to show off her man, too. But it’s not what happened.

We will call her friend Tammy.

When Tammy walked in she was taken aback with how nice the place looked, she complimented us on our progress looked at me and proceeded to say,

“Aren’t you happy you found a woman that can turn a house into a home?

I just hope you helped out instead of watching her do all the work” and started to laugh.

She assumed it was his fiancée who decorated it.

I got a little offended, not once have I felt like I’ve given off the vibe where I was fine with not contributing my fair share in my relationship.

I was expecting my fiancé to say something but she didn’t, she just joined in with the laughing.

I then replied, “Yep my fiancé is great,” I really wanted to tell her that ‘No! actually, I did most of the work’, but at risk of coming across as an emotional man child I decided to keep my mouth shut.

He was feeling unappreciated.

I was baffled at the lack of acknowledgment from my fiancé, not only did I take the initiative to decorate and design the place but I spent time, money and effort to see it through completion.

I wanted to bring up how I felt later that night but chose to keep it to myself so as not to ruin the good evening we were having.

The next morning I brought up the “joke” her friend made about me not helping with the house and my fiance replied, “well, she was just joking, she obviously knows that you help out”.

But he still wasn’t at ease with the situation.

I then asked why she didn’t say anything but before I could get an answer, she told me she was running late for class and didn’t have time to talk about it right now.

Later that night when she was finished with her assignments, I decided to press the issue again but this time she snapped at me.

Asking me, “Why is this such a big deal to you? Congratulations, you did what every woman is expected to do, would you like a medal?”

Ouch. Imagine if the roles were reversed.

I responded with “No, I would like a fiancé that actually appreciates the work I put in and doesn’t take it for granted”.

She then looked at me, called me an ‘***’ before walking away.

I’m sitting here dumbfounded, trying to wrap my head around what just happened.

As I am typing this out I’m wondering if I took that joke too personally, or if I am overreacting maybe?

I hate when we argue and feel terrible if what I said upset her.

I just feel like the hard work I put in was kind of downplayed.

AITA?

To me, it sounds as if she felt inadequate for not helping out more, and took it out on him to make him feel less “special”.

That’s abusive and they definitely need to work on that before tying the knot.

Let’s see if Reddit has any insight into this situation.

This commenter keeps it short.

A reader shares their opinion.

Exactly.

She doesn’t sound grateful at all.

Another reader chimes in.

That’s the way to do it.

He got it right.

His fiancée is taking him for granted. Maybe he should live in the apartment he decorated on his own.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.