Anyone who has worked in customer service has probably had the impulse to bait a nasty customer…

But in this story, an employee actually does it… and reels the customer in.

Let’s read all about this big fish.

I said 4 pieces!!!

What’s up, party people?

Some simple MC here from the Meat and Seafood department of your Arizona Hometown Grocer.

Can’t wait to hear this simple tale.

An old lady, a customer who insists to me that she is “a regular,” even though I’ve never seen this particular septuagenarian before, starts spitting (quite literally) vile filth at me from the very onset of our interaction.

Seems unsanitary. What’s her problem?

It’s like a bad movie about a dyslexic meat guy who has a healthy dose of ADHD.

“Do you work in this dePARTment? I thought you might be new, so I’ll say this as slowly as I can… I need dover sole!”

“Okay. Sure. Coming right u-“

“I need FOUR PIECES!”

Knock, knock, who’s there? Interrupting cow w—? MOOO.

Alright, back to our regularly scheduled programming… how’s this gonna play out?

As I’m starting to pick the fish I realized that both the dover sole and the rock fish are in the same row, and I originally thought four pieces was only three.

I tried to explain this to her, but to no avail she doesn’t understand displacement theory.

Hm. Miscommunication. Let’s see if she gets the picture.

“I NEED. FOUR. pieces!!”

Okay, enter MC:

I don’t know where she thought I was going to magically find an additional dover sole fillet, but I decided to work my magic.

I weighed out the three pieces, printed the sticker, took the pieces to the side to be wrapped, then sliced one filet in half. I then put it back on the scale so she could see.

Transparency. But also, maliciousness. Fascinating combo, will she catch on?

“Four pieces, right?”

The crazy thing is that any time I take a knife to a piece of meat/fish at the customer’s request, regardless of the reason, I had to enter it as a choice cut.

When I reweighed the whole thing I knew it was going to be more money for the same amount of fish.

It was literally double the price.

Double trouble. Will this customer take the bait?

She walked off with her seafood, looking like Bert at the end of any Bert and Ernie Sesame Street episodes, with a “womp womp wooooooomp” coming from a nearby trumpet.

She weighed the pros and cons, and came out on top.

How do the comments feel about this hook, line, and sinker?

One person says, instant classic.

Someone else has a language problem.

Another person says, ahem, it is called sad trombone. Womp, womp, womp.

This one is fishy.

And it stinks just a little.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.